Extracting Narrations: More Stubborn Than Wisdom Teeth

Most days, I would rather visit the dentist than try to extract a decent narration from my older kids.  I don’t know who suffers more; well, actually I do. I’m the one forced to endure my children’s never ending sentences, inability to capitalize anything when under duress, and repeated cries of “I don’t know what it’s about!”

It was so much easier when we read simple picture books, and they copied sentences or drew pictures. The progression to verbally re-telling a simple story while I wrote and they recopied was seamless. And then at some point I asked them to read and write their own darn stories and next thing I know it’s all wailing and gnashing of teeth.

It’s most frustrating when they read or watch a story they enjoy and quickly come to find me, outside usual school hours, to relay all the minute details of said story. Ten minutes later, after patiently listening to my son or daughter’s dramatic retelling, complete with exaggerated gestures, I try to suggest that he or she select that book, movie,  etc for a narration that week. Immediately a look of horror will come over my child’s  face. “But I won’t know what to write!” he/ she will protest.” Why not write just one page of details you’ve been sharing with me (when I really just wanted to wash the dishes and listen to my Dance Pop Pandora station)?” The child sulks off, the mere suggestion of writing having cast a somber pallor over his or her whole existence.

So as we sit at the table the next morning I suggest, again, that maybe she should consider writing about the book she told me about previously. After gently insisting this several times, I will succeed in getting her to slide a narration across the table to me, all the while shooting dagger eyes, before she runs outside. Rather than all the wonderful descriptions and funny details still burned in my memory from yesterday,  I get five sentences on tear-stained paper that tell me the title of the book, the main character, that it was “good” and then one sentence consisting of something like “junie b jones went to hawai on a plane with her parents and took a scrapbook and her favorite doll too.” And usually, she will want “The End.” to count as a complete sentence.

So then I read this sonnet, take a deep breath, go find her hiding under the deck, and convince her to come inside and ‘go over it’ with me in a non-threatening tone. “Revision and making a second draft are just parts of the process!” I quip cheerfully.  Seated next to one another, I try to ask questions about the main idea, ascertain more details about plot, conflict, maybe the story she so glowingly bored me with yesterday.  With some prayers and patience and a little luck,  I’ll help my child add some more sentences that actually re-tell something of the book. If I can achieve this while not raising my voice or my blood pressure, and she still says she loves me when I tuck her in that night, I feel successful.

Recently I started using graphic organizers (doesn’t that sound so teacher-ly?) to help the kids organize their thoughts before writing. It helped up to the point where the kids realized they had to take those webs or pyramids or Venn diagrams and, surprise!, turn it into a narration. They failed to see it as a helpful tool and instead thought I was trying to get them to do more work. Which may indeed be the case, however, if it could save me some aggravation on the tail end, it was certainly worth their effort up front in my opinion.

I try to take comfort in the fact that both my husband and I  are avid readers and we became writers later on. Neither of us enjoyed writing when we were our children’s ages. In fact, I often suggest to my children that one day, they may enjoy writing and may seek to do it for pleasure. Yes, it’s true! They roll their eyes and insist otherwise.

Until then I Google terms like “magic narration worksheet”, “how to make narrations painless” and, the most fruitful thus far, “English tutors for hire.” If you’ve stumbled across a secret to extracting details from your children please let me know. I might be willing to hire you.


Things I Love; My Conquistador Lamp

The summer before my junior year of college I fell in love with a Spanish man. It made no difference that I was still dating my high school sweetheart. As soon as my eyes beheld the Conquistador’s thoughtful eyes, dark beard and pumpkin pants I knew I had to make him mine.  Thankfully, he was for sale.

He sat quietly in the corner of the motel gift shop where I worked. In addition to the usual touristy bric-a-brac, our gift shop included one of a kind “antiques”;  i.e. flea market finds the owner bought and tried to pass off as collectables to unsuspecting guests. But my friend, the Conquistador lamp, he was different. Every day he watched me from his tabletop. His strong ceramic build was accented with a shiny suit of armor and gleaming helmet from which the light bulb and shade extended. At first I questioned the folly of falling for a lamp. Such a relationship could never work out. My room at home and dorm at school both lacked the space to properly showcase him. Plus, the lighting elements were old, the bulb often tilted to the right and the shade was discolored.

I argued back and forth with myself, weighing the pros and cons of spending several hours worth of pay on the lamp. However, at the start of every shift, I heaved a sigh of relief when I arrived for work and discovered he had not been sold.

At the end of the summer, I purchased the Conquistador lamp much to the delight of my boss who quickly replaced it with another marked-up garage sale find. My college roommate, an art student, saw the beauty of the lamp and welcomed it into our abode. My boyfriend hoped it was a passing phase.

Fast forward twelve years and seven moves  and he is still with me. Yes, I wound up marrying my boyfriend but I remain in love with the lamp. With every relocation I had to take special care to make sure the lamp was never “accidentally dropped” or “lost by the movers” or “run over by the moving van.” My husband remains cool towards the Conquistador. He can’t decide whether it’s better to hide the lamp in the bedroom, so guests can’t see it, or place it in the living room so he doesn’t need to look at it at night.  My children are confused by the fact that their mama, who is so quick to dispose of their clay pots or popsicle stick masterpieces can cling so completely to a lighting fixture. Even when we read about Cortez and I was so excited to have a visual to show them, they failed to see my Conquistador’s allure. “Look children, my lamp can give you an idea of how Cortez and his men looked, gazing out on the unknown wilderness that awaited them. Its obvious why the Aztec mistook them for Gods isn’t it? Of course, Cortez wouldn’t have been dusty like this but..kids? Kids! Why aren’t you paying attention?”

Although not everyone can appreciate my Conquistador lamp, I remain firmly enthralled with him. He has captured my heart as completely as the Spanish seized  Tenochtitlan.


E-Books Save Me Gas

One of the best things we incorporated into homeschooling this year was e-books. Namely, lots and lots of free e-books. Once I realized I could download books faster than my daughter and I could read them I knew I needed an e-reader. (One weekly trip to the library would actually be enough to satisfy everyone!) Even without a specific e-reader device, books can be read online or on tablets and phones with e-reader aps. I don’t enjoy reading on a backlit screen which is why I ultimately went with a Kindle.That’s why if you look through my ‘Year 4 History Book List’ you’ll see lots of books marked with a K.  I’ve also downloaded several literature books for my oldest two. When the younger three are ready for them, these books won’t be all dog-eared  and full of peanut butter fingerprints (unlike my series of CHC Devotional Stories books.) And thankfully, now when we go on a field trip or any car ride, we can pack a whole library worth of books in one slim case. The only downside so far is trying to share the device with my daughter.  Once she’s taken it into her room, I need Dr. Livingston to lead a search and rescue to retrieve it.

I did a lot of whining…I mean ‘negotiating,’ with my husband to convince him that an e-reader was worth it’s price tag. My nagging, oops, “perseverance”, was rewarded last Mothering Sunday and, so far, our curriculum has rounded itself out quite nicely this year with just library books and e-books. It’s a substantial savings from our second year when I bought tons of hard to find books about the Middle Ages. (I was astounded to learn our library system did not have a children’s adaptation of Chaucer’s ‘Canterbury Tales’ or ‘Tales of Roland. Unbelievable!!’)  I’m looking forward to our second time through the cycle, and updating each Book List with free titles.

I’m compiling a new downloadable file under ‘Public Domain Favorites’ that will list some of my favorite free books and where you can find them. I prefer Project Gutenburg, Amazon and Google Books, in that order, but I’ve been checking out Nook’s site too and had some luck. Many well-known classics are in the public domain (Austin, Bronte, Dickinson, etc); I’m going to try to recommend some authors and stories you may be less familiar with. Check back often, as I’ll be updating the list as I discover new books. Contact me with your suggestions.