December just arrived, but for weeks now my Pinterest and Facebook feeds have been filled with people filing away ‘Elf On the Shelf’ ideas and pictures.

We have lots of Advent and Christmas traditions in our family, however a slightly creepy voyeur elf is NOT one of them. Especially a creepy voyeur that requires me to set up elaborate scenes every night with the sole purpose of amusing my children the next morning for ten whole minutes when I’d rather be in bed with a nightcap and good book. And you know how kids are, no sooner do they take in a scene of the elf pooping Hershey kisses or getting fresh with Barbie, then there’s cries of “I wonder what the little scamp with do tomorrow! I can’t wait! It’d better top this or I’ll stop believing in Christmas!!!”

This year, following a very inspiring Facebook conversation, I’d like to suggest a new tradition for parents who are tired of the elf and keep wondering if finding his ashes in the fireplace some morning would finally end the madness. How long would your children cry for, really???

Instead, how about ‘Alf On The Shelf’? What better way to prepare for the birth of Our Lord and Savior than following the antics of everyone’s favorite alien life form from the late 80’s? Here’s a few ideas to get you started: (bonus points if you can find a stuffed Alf)

alf in the freezer
Tell the kids to help themselves to an ice cream pop first thing in the morning then wait to catch their peals of laughter at discovering an empty box, save for Gordon Shumway.

 

alf with cat food
Imagine the delight at finding Alf hidden behind the cat’s dish with a sharp knife. Stay back kitty! Somebody’s hungry and it’s not for Meow Mix!

 

alf and booze
Oh Alf! Up late hitting the sauce again!!

 

alf and milk
Time for a bowl of cereal but someone drank straight from the container, finished the milk AND put the jug back empty! But who can stay mad at that face?????

 

alf and hot water heater
No hot water on bath night? Must be the notorious A. L. F.

Imagine 25 days of Alf mischief! Why, it’s enough to grow the heart of even the staunchest Grinch. Get your own image HERE and get to coloring so tomorrow morning your children can wake up to any number of heartwarming scenes…. like Alf playing with lighters.

 

alf and smoke detectors
Removing the smoke detectors?? ALF!!!!
Alf On The Shelf…NOT A Typo
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