This post is designated ‘downer free’. It is guaranteed to contain at least 85 percent joy and humor, some bordering on ridiculous, with only 15 percent filler, and maybe a smattering of MSG. In fact I’m going to dedicate the majority of this post to a spectacular family heirloom of mine that always brings a smile to my face:
1. The Boob Vase
I’m not quite sure how it will all play out into a Seven Quick Takes so just be on the look out for a progressive sequence of numbers that entitles me to link up at Jen’s.
2. I know the first thing you’re wondering is where you can purchase a vase like this, but I’m sorry to say, it’s a one of a kind creation. You could scour the earth and never find another cream-colored ceramic vase decorated with the golden silhouette of a voluptuous lady and her 3D torpedos. I’m considering selling photos of the vase (perhaps on greeting cards? mugs?) as a fundraiser to offset the cost of a new family plopper. Maybe you can’t hold her in your hands, but her shiny smile can gaze at you from any wall in your house! Or should I stick with a spaghetti dinner? Maybe raffle chances to visit her at my house? Just throwing out ideas.
3. The vase was created by someone on my father’s mother’s side and somehow, through several deaths and house clean outs, I acquired it; without legal wrangling or the creation of hard feelings between any family members and myself. It was as if no one else wanted it.
4. I’d forgotten about the vase because, surprise, Tony doesn’t like it on display in the house, so I had it wrapped in paper and packed away, apparently, with the Halloween decorations. I arrived home from a doctor’s appointment on Monday to find giant spiders on the windows, cobwebs across the doorways and my oldest, gripping this vase. “Mama, what is this thing? And why was it in with the Halloween decorations? Are we supposed to put it out some where with the pumpkins?”
5. Tony got home from work and, as expected, was elated at seeing the vase on the counter. (Elated is code for horrified.) What a sight for sore eyes!
6. At this point I’m wondering if this post should be rated G or PG or R. Maybe I need to edit the photo??? I hope this post hasn’t been a near occasion of sin for anyone.
7. Although I don’t usually like getting flowers, I’m keeping the lady handy in case the hubby decides to remember our upcoming anniversary, sans reminder from Addie, with some long stems. Eleven years, and this is still one of the classiest things in the house. In my search for a simile…
“Tony, what’s something classy?”
“Um, tuxedos. The orchestra?”
“No, no, like a place. Of maybe…”
“What, a specific place? Um…”
“I don’t think we have enough experience with such things for me to say.”
I rest my case.
Wow, there’s seven +, and I feel like I’ve only scratched the surface. But lest I overwhelm your delicate sensibilities, I’ll wrap it up. If I can’t interest you in a charming photo mug, perhaps I can convince you to head over to Jen’s for more Seven Quick Takes. I think I can say with 94 percent certainty, you will not encounter any more sculptural female anatomy, but with some of those NFP folks, you never can be too sure. Watch out!