{SQT} Vanilla Ice, Ice Cream With My Birthday Cake

Yo VIP! Let’s kick it!

1. Wednesday, I turned 34. Thursday, my oldest turned 10. I celebrated by putting on my big girl britches and not crying on the phone with the nursing agency and Fulton’s insurance case manager. Who earned herself some pumpkin spice liquor? This gal! My efforts have earned me the hope that we’ll only have to go three to four months without nursing. Only three to four…best case  scenario. Today”s goal is to not turn into a blubbering mess when the nurse leaves for the last time. I’m not wearing mascara just in case.

2. Addie was joyously oblivious to my calls and ripped open more gifts than any spoiled grandchild should be allowed. Items included easy piano music from “The Star Wars Trilogy”, a few small Lord of the Ring Lego sets and Barbie Hair Extensions . Thank you John Williams and China for the infusion of high brow culture into our otherwise bleak and deprived homeschooling lives.

3. Her drama class also learned how to perform with a foreign accent. She gushed about the exercises forever but refused to demonstrate the Irish brogue her classmates praised her for. Until she was laying in bed next to her sleeping sister and she busted into the Star Spangled Banner, with an accent. I guess she thought she was being quiet, but we heard her in our bedroom…loudly. Thankfully, Addie did not wake up Edie. In fact, Edie continued to “make weird noises and grind her teeth” according to Addie who marched into our bedroom only minutes after her performance. I almost gave her a standing ovation and cheered U-S-A! U-S-A!

4. As predicted, October is approaching and the colds  have started. Teddy is applying snot like it’s hair gel and going limp and wailing at the mention of the word tissue. I’ve taken to just combing his stiff locks to the side and giving his nose free reign on my shoulder. Edie has a mild cold but becomes The Little Match girl, suffering in the fall weather because she refuses to wear seasonable clothes, i.e. anything that covers her torso more than a gymnastics leotard. I’m a tyrant of a mother who forces her to wail from the couch through what she says is a horribly sore throat for her juice, stories and pedicures with not so much as a “Yes, m’dear? How can I serve you?”

5. Do you follow me on Facebook? I currently have 69 likes (don’t snicker) and would love if you’d join me there. While I enjoy tweeting with others, FB is where I typically converse with my readers outside the comboxes. It’s also where I post most of my favorite articles as I discover them. When I try to save enough links for a SQT or a linky post I inevitably lose or forget them. Don’t ask me how my mind works, I just know I….wait what?

6. Oh yes, we were talking about Addie’s birthday. My in-laws brought over a huge bag of balloons for the kids to use for decorating. My children, resourceful as they are, weren’t going to blow them up themselves and get all tired like a bunch of suckers, no way. And they knew darn well Mama’s limit is like, one balloon and one hot air joke, tops. So they drug in the huge air pump and inflated those latex bad boys as big as they’d get. So big in fact that while they didn’t explode on the pump, they would randomly explode throughout the day with no warning, some only inches from me, or the baby or anyone who didn’t want to accidentally pee themselves. It was like a mine zone for a while.

7. Someone needs to invent an alarm that sounds like the pitter patter of little feet approaching my side of the bed. Wakes me up out of a deep sleep every time.

Check out Jen and the other quick takers for more of the usual Friday antics you’ve come to know and love. Yo man, let’s get out of here. Word to your mother.

3 Comments

Filed under Humor, Seven Quick Takes

3 Responses to {SQT} Vanilla Ice, Ice Cream With My Birthday Cake

  1. Hee hee. Word to your mother. :) Found you at Jen’s. Happy weekend!

  2. See, the problem with getting these delivered to my email is that I read them there and then get distracted and then don’t comment and then 3 days later REMEMBER how funny and awesome your post was and come back to tell you.

    Also, what is up with Vanilla Ice doing home renos now? Is that a real thing? He should come fix our bathroom. HGTV would make a million doll hairs!

    • kmantoan

      That sounds to good to be true. Oh! I already have his company motto!, “When it comes to Vanilla Ice home renovations, anything less than the best is a felony.”

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