After 13 Years, It’s Still SeriousHumor
Today, my husband and I celebrated thirteen years of marriage. Clearly, we’ve left the honeymoon years and thankfully, survived the seven-year itch. Since we’re entering what can only be called the teenage years of our marriage, it seemed only fitting that we mark the day as adolescents and act out in wild and rebellious ways.
Tony had Columbus Day off from work and we decided to ditch (home)school and go out for lunch with some money we pocketed from our parents (which was contained within an anniversary card.)
When the kids asked where we were headed I screamed, “What’s wrong with you? Why do you keep asking so many questions?? Don’t you trust me!? I’m not a little girl anymore!” Tony, rolled his eyes, and just shrugged, “Whatever.” and added that’s he’d meet me in the car after I’d touched up my Wet n’ Wild lip gloss.
In a fit of teen angst, I climbed out the bathroom window and ran out to the car which he had cranked to Mix 106, so we could hear all the best tunes (from the 90’s to now!). Can someone say Stone Temple Pilots?! WOOT!
Every time we pulled next to a car at a red light, I would wave or make faces, and Tony would rev the engine. One time we even started kissing, with tongue! just to freak out some old couple walking by on the crosswalk! Loosen up squares! There ain’t nothing wrong with expressing my love for my man! I’m gonna do it anywhere I please. It’s a free country!
We parked really close to the car next to us and then both got out the driver’s side door. We laughed too loudly about it then loitered for a while in the parking lot to see if we could catch the other drivers face when he returned to his car, but no such luck.
We decided to hit a Chinese / Japanese / Thai restaurant cause it sounded real adult and we’re totally mature for our ages. Every time I met someone, I was all, how old do you think I look? I had tucked some baby socks into my bra and gone heavy on the liquid eyeliner so I knew I was looking hawt.
Walking to the restaurant with hands in each other’s back pockets? Check!! Except when I was recounting all the drama from the last homeschool mom’s social and needed my hands, because “You would not believe what curriculum she is using now! That girl should know better than to go and mess with a good thing when she’s got it!!!”
And then some guy “accidentally” bumped into me, and Tony had to set him straight about getting too close to me (aka Tony’s boo.) It was totally hot. We stopped to make out on a park bench for five minutes before I could continue to the restaurant.
It was a good meal, but the waitress was totally disrespectful towards us. I mean come on, if you don’t want people talking selfies with the koi, don’t put them in the lobby. I didn’t try to drop that slimy fish on the floor. Maybe you should be more considerate and keep your pets at home! I bet it’s not even sanitary to have koi inside. And then I almost slipped and fell on the way out because they still hadn’t cleaned up all the water. I’m going to complain to my dad, cause he knows people and they should totally shut that place down.
When we got home, the kids tried to get all up in my face and I was like, “I need my space!” and ran upstairs to my room, locked the door and put on The Cure. Meanwhile, Tony tried sneaking some liquor from the cabinet but then his mom (who’d been babysitting) offered to get him a glass.
Tonight we’re going to stay up all night reading poetry we wrote to one another and/ or reciting song lyrics that really speak to our hearts, like totally. I wrote his name on my hand in pen with a big heart around it so everyone I see tomorrow will know it’s serious.
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