Skip to content
  • Home
  • Start Here
    • About
  • Contact Me
  • Speaking
  • Buy me a coffee!
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • YouTube
0
This Ain't the Lyceum
  • Home
  • Start Here
    • About
  • Contact Me
  • Speaking
  • Buy me a coffee!
  • You are here :
  • Home
  • Homeschooling ,
  • Humor ,
  • Most Popular
  • The Best Methods, You’ve Never Heard of, to Occupy Toddlers During School
Written by kmantoan on 08/29/2014

The Best Methods, You’ve Never Heard of, to Occupy Toddlers During School

Homeschooling . Humor . Most Popular

The Friday before Labor Day weekend; I’ve got the first day of school in my sights. I’m not running. I’m tackling it head on like the insecure, homeschooling pro that I am. (Just for good measure, Tony restocked my hard cider supplies so I’m set.)

One of the hardest things about homeschooling can be teaching older kids while still having toddlers running under foot. Some parents find it’s easier to enroll the youngest in a day care or preschool program so it’s easier to focus completely on fifth grade math, or whatever. But if sending your kids out isn’t an option, I’ve compiled of list of sure-fire tricks to ensure a smooth transition back to school without toddler distractions getting in the way.

toddlerbutton

1. If you have a couple little ones, or a toddler and a dog, now is a great time to teach them the game “Cage Match.” Simply employ a large dog kennel, lock them inside (with a few pillows if you so choose) and tell them they have until the bell to pin the other to the floor. It’s not necessary to own a bell.

Amazon Prime this bad boy up and have it in time for the first day.

2. A great way to pass the time quietly can be by locking the child in a dark hall closet with a flashlight and telling them to pretend to be either St. Joan of Arc or St. Thomas Moore, looked away in a cell, persecuted by the English. Throw in a few bread scraps and a jug of water for authenticity.

3. Or invest in a stuffed lion and send the child on a journey to Narnia! Just continue walking/ crawling towards the back of the “wardrobe” and keep looking Junior!

4. You can leave the closet door open if you first shackle the child’s legs with heavy chains. In this version, he or she can pretend to be St. Paul in prison. Give your little Church Father some crayons and paper and tell him to write the Epistles to pass the time.

See, Amazon’s got your back.

5. If your child enjoys magic, use those same shackles and perhaps some rope to tie him up like Harry Houdini. Make sure everything is good and snug and then tell him to escape, while you escape to the dining table to finish grammar.

6. Put on a cowboy hat, grab a lasso and chase your toddler down with lots of whoots and hollers before hog tying him. The goal is to sufficiently wear the child down so they are less able to wiggle free/ complain once bound on the floor.

7. Does your child enjoy Greek myths?  Slap a bull mask on your child and send them into your basement with the lights off. Tell them he or she is the Minotaur in the labyrinth waiting to attack the unsuspecting Theseus. A bonus to this method is when one of your older children talks back or refuses to do something, send them to the basement to “retrieve something” and enjoy the resulting melee.

Who cares whether they can see out the eye holes or not.

With these tried and true methods, you’re sure to coast back into a regular fall schedule in no time. What favorite trick of yours did I leave out?

Share with your friends:

  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window)

You might also like to read...

12 comments

  • Leila has written: 08/29/2014 at 7:58 am Reply

    This is awesome and I can attest to #6. Worked for me.

  • Dionysios Potamitis has written: 08/29/2014 at 8:15 am Reply

    Your postings are hilarious!

  • Julie has written: 08/29/2014 at 8:28 am Reply

    Brilliant! In your spare time, might I suggest developing a toddler safe scuba suit. This will allow us to keep the little darlings safely contained and greatly reduce background noise. Especially helpful during retoric recitations!

  • The English Major has written: 08/29/2014 at 8:55 am Reply

    This has made my morning.

  • Kyra has written: 08/29/2014 at 9:52 am Reply

    I am going to buy a cage for my two toddlers. We could even sell tickets. We could buy curriculum and alcohol with all the money! Big win.

  • Wendy from Zoom has written: 08/29/2014 at 1:03 pm Reply

    Bathtub with a big bowl of jello.

  • Blythe has written: 08/29/2014 at 1:55 pm Reply

    Best advice I’ve ever got

  • Rachael has written: 08/29/2014 at 3:40 pm Reply

    I think I am going to order that chain to shackle my son to his desk this year!

  • Kristin Sanders has written: 08/29/2014 at 4:06 pm Reply

    Oh my gosh.. “write the Epistles to pass the time.” All so funny!!!!!

  • Catherine has written: 08/29/2014 at 10:51 pm Reply

    Ha! My toddlers actually do play in the dog crate! When my twins were toddlers they loved to lock each other in there and pass toys to each other through the grates. I got a lot of math taught during those times.

  • Karen M has written: 08/30/2014 at 6:41 pm Reply

    Auntie Leila comment AND link. Wow–you are now legit. 😉

  • Elizabeth has written: 08/30/2014 at 8:37 pm Reply

    Glad I’m not the only one who cannot bear to start school in August. You’d think I would actually be ready for Monday by now, having had that two extra weeks to plan, but I never am and this year is no different. Good to have some ideas for keeping my youngest busy – super helpful, thanks! 😀

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Newsletter + Free Gratitude Journal

Get My Latest Posts Delivered By Carrier Pigeon

Just kidding. Enter your email address to subscribe and receive notifications of new posts by email. You will NOT be signed up for my newsletter.

I Made These For You

  • Self-Care for Special Needs Moms $19.99
  • Using Google Classroom in the Homeschool Ebook $9.99 $4.99
  • The Best Laid Plans Undated Planner $19.99 $14.99
  • A Worthy Reception: A Retreat Based on Thomas À Kempis' Classic 'The Imitation of Christ' $13.00
  • The Catholic Homeschool Audit Workbook $14.99 $9.99

Current Favorites





Archives

Are you a part of my community?

Thank you! You have successfully subscribed.

Are you a part of my community?

Sign up for my newsletter to receive support and advice designed to help you thrive and find joy in your vocation! You'll also get access to my free gratitude journal! 

Categories

Archives

Copyright This Ain't the Lyceum 2021 | Theme by ThemeinProgress | Proudly powered by WordPress