Blogging Predictions For The Next Nine Years

Nine years ago this week I started blogging at This Ain’t the Lyceum. Obviously I can’t let the anniversary go by without a blog post. But rather than reminiscing, I decided to make a few predictions for the future of blogging.

Most people are aware that many bloggers have moved over to sharing content on social media, and given up blogging altogether. Recently, some have given up social media and dusted off their urls, but overall the blogging landscape has changed and it’s unlikely to return to the blogging world of 2012. So where is blogging headed? Let’s find out!

Artificial Intelligence (AI) Blogging

Bloggers with a site a few years old will hire AI bots to crawl their archives and then write new blog posts on topics related to things they’ve written about in the past. Publishing will increase. Ad revenue will go up. Engagement will flourish! These developments will allow bloggers to become soft, compliant and overly trusting of their AI contributors. Their suspicions will become piqued when the content of their blog switches from say, homeschooling to blood lust, but by then it will be too late and the robots will already be banging down our doors.

Stream of Consciousness Blogging (SBC)

You know your readers love it when you share the intimate details of your personal life and “keep it real”. So it’s only logical that the next step up from oversharing on blogs, or live streaming videos of your day is recording and sharing the continuous stream of thoughts coming from your brain. SBC would feature an interface that plugs directly into your brain and sends your thoughts, via Bluetooth, to WordPress and transcribes them into a daily blog post. Readers can follow along minute by minute as you worry about dinner, reread the lusty scene from that young adult novel you checked out of the library for “your daughter”, and chide yourself repeatedly for wearing the old leggings that you knew would cut you through the groin but wanted to wear anyway because of their seasonal print. Self-hosted WordPress users can also install a plugin that transcribes dreams in a separate overnight post.

Cats Will Blog

The bastards have been able to blog for years, but were only posting anonymously on the dark web when we weren’t looking. In the near future, not only will our cats blog out in the open, they’ll try to corner the DIY, fashion, and home decor niches with their cunning ways and strategically placed GIFs. If we’re not ready for the feline invasion, thousands of lifestyle bloggers will find their number of followers slashed by the tiny sharp claws of their furry competitors.

Lawyers Specializing in Blogging Law

Start deleting all the pictures of your kids sitting on the toilet naked as toddlers because the next wave of sponsored TikTok posts is coming from lawyers who will represent kids who want money from their parents for sharing embarrassing pictures. It doesn’t matter how much skin your child is willing to show in a crazy spring break challenge, a new breed of lawyer is coming who will convince your child that an embarrassing picture of when he cut his hair himself with the weed whacker is worth a whole lot of money. In the past, embarrassing pictures were perfect to pull out on prom night, or throw into a wedding slideshow, but now, if that embarrassing picture winds up online, you may be forced to pay huge settlements to your kids, or worse, have your own childhood photos, and those Polaroids from college (you know the ones I’m talking about) shared in a Top 10 Buzzfeed post.

Gen-Xers Will Use Blogging to Take Over The World

No one hears much about Gen-X anymore. It’s all Millennials and whoever comes after them. But that’s fine. While the Boomers are finally figuring out Facebook, and the youngsters are wasting time on TikTok, Gen-Xers are using blogging to coordinate our plans, line up allies, and try to relive a little of the Woodstock ’94 glory. Just when you all least expect it, we’re going to show up, take back our fashion trends, and run the world like only a bunch of under-appreciated latch-key kids can.

Those are my predictions! I can’t wait to tell you “I told you so!” when I’m simultaneously beating off my AI and tabby cat overlords in my quest to conquer the world.

In case you’d like to see how I inconsistently commemorated my previous blog-o-versaries:

Now it’s your turn. Link up below and be sure to include a link back to this post so your readers can find the rest of the Quick Takes. I look forward to reading your posts!

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