Potential Best-Sellers
I must confess that when I started this blog, in the back of my mind I had grandiose plans of gaining a huge following and somehow landing a huge book deal and becoming a major celebritey…amongst female Catholic writers.
However, since there’s a lot of competition in the blogsphere I thought, maybe I should just write a best-selling novel first to bring more attention to the blog. Then, I can just start entertaining TV and movie offers. The sky’s the limit! So, humor me as I present my seven potential book ideas. I tried to take subjects I’m familiar with- being Catholic, motherhood, homeschooling, etc., and combine them with popular and trending topics in order to reach the broadest audience possible.
1. ” Zombie Homeschooling; Education for the Coming Apocalypse”
Because if you don’t look out for your child’s brain, the zombies will.
2. “The Hungriest Child Games”
Find out where in your home to hide snacks so your children won’t find them. Cause you’ll kill ’em if they eat all your dark chocolate squares again.
3. “50 Shades of NFP”
A tense erotic thriller full of charting, basal temperature readings, and hot and steamy moments of frustration during periods of intense abstinence.
4. “Wizards and Witches are Evil and How You can Prevent Your Kids From Ever Reading Anything About Them” or “Wizards and Witches are Totally Awesome and How You Can Incorporate Them Into Your Unit Study.”
I’m not quite sure which of these would sell more.
5. “Rome Sweet Vampire”
From the dark woods and pagan cults of 15th century Transylvania to St. Peter’s and the catacombs, this is the moving conversion story of one vampire’s journey home to the Roman Catholic Church.
6. “Latin for Pirates ”
Because if I can teach a pirate to speak Latin, you can learn too. Or at least, your child won’t scream when you try to teach him or her.
7. Or maybe a children’s picture book;
” The Pigeon Wants to Take a Poo on Mommy’s New Sunday Dress” or maybe, “If You Give Your Mama a Mocha, She Won’t Yell At You So Much Before Breakfast”
Let me know which one you’d buy so I can figure out which one to start working on ASAP.
Latin for Pirates! I love it!
My Latin might be off, but this should be “Dead men tell no tales!”
Mortuus homines dico haud fabula!
Hahaha, I’d definitely read No 3, or if you don’t write it, I will…nothing like a hint of no sex to get the readers lining up at the book store!!
Loving this post! I have to go with If You Give Your Momma a Mocha —
Even at 62, I need that caffeine. I think you will find a lot of readers who can relate –
I still like my “Half-Ass Homeschooling” idea; Come on — don’t you ever have a day where the kids are chugging along mightily well on the smallest bit of nothing from you. I do every day.
Any how, you’re just as cool as all those Catholic Mama authors you just mentioned & just as talented. So, go for it!
@Contra-if Latin for Pirates is ever published, you get the first signed copy.
@Jen-#3 is my personal favorite too! I couldn’t even read the title to my husband without laughing. However, he’s never heard of the 50 Shades of Grey book so he thought me cackling at my own joke was funnier than the actual title.
@Sue-So the need for coffee does not decrease as the kids grow up and move out?? Darn.
@Sarah-Let’s co-author a book and then get Samuel L. Jackson to do the audio copy!!! I’m sure our homeschools will take care of themselves while we’re working on it!
Amazing. I love them all, but most especially “50 Shades of NFP” Someone needs to blow that stuff wide open!
Sarah, having just read your blog post on NFP, I think it might be better for you to ‘blow it wide open’. My novel of angst and longing would only succeed in sending it’s reader into the arms of a Harlequin romance novel.