FINALLY a Fitness Program for MeHumor
Let’s face it, exercise is unpleasant. It’s like that relative you invite to family gatherings because they’re family and they have to be there, but no one really likes them and everyone is uncomfortable until they leave.
We need to excercie, or at the very least, not be completely sedentary. But when do we find the time? If we try to wake up early, that will be the one day the baby wakes up early too, or the morning following a horrible night’s sleep. If we try to squeeze in some activity during nap time, we are guaranteed no one will actually nap. And staying up late to exercise usually means falling asleep at 7:30 p.m. in our yoga pants.
We run ourselves ragged throughout the day and yet somehow, all that activity doesn’t count for squat because our heart rate isn’t elevated above a certain level for 30 minutes straight at any one time. It’s enough to drive a woman crazy…or, in this case, to drink!
Yes, after a long day at home with the kids or slaving away at a thankless job, we deserve a drink. Now what if I told you, you could take all the benefits of alcohol and multiply them, like, a whole bunch???
Introducing Vino Fitness! The old world way to get fit, through drinking lots of alcohol!
Think about it: what doesn’t seem like a great idea after a couple of glasses of wine? Frankly, I’m game for practically anything after enough Paisano. Vino Fitness taps into that devil-may-care attitude to get you closer to a fitter, healthier you! In fact, you may soon find exercise downright intoxicating!
With Vino Fitness we simply take habits that are already a part of your lifestyle (i.e. drinking at 3:30 p.m. once naps are over or school lets out) to build new healthy habits.
Simply drink the several glasses of wine you’re already craving by late afternoon and then go exercise! Load up all the kids in the jogging stroller, or wheelbarrow, and go for a walk around the block. Notice how pleasant exercise seems when the world is glistening and slightly off kilter.
Craving alone time to workout but unsure where to squeeze it in? Vino Fitness is perfect for those quiet types who usually feel awful taking time away from their family or household responsibilities. We advise a couple quick drinks of port wine right after dinner. With only a slight provocation from your loved ones, you’ll be pulling on your shoes, screaming “I NEED TO EXERCISE NOW!”, slamming the door and stumbling down the front steps guilt-free to a fit, new you!
Maybe you’re thinking Vino Fitness can’t help you at the Cross Fit gym or in your spin classes. While Vino Fitness is not recommended for any aqua aerobics, under the careful supervision by a trained professional, Vino Fitness is no more dangerous than any other fitness supplement on the market when used in moderation. Dosage requirements vary based on BMI but are not to exceed three 8 oz glasses per workout. Proper hydration is always important, and we encourage participants to drink lots of water to avoid feeling like crap the next day. Maybe even take a couple of aspirin when you go to bed….for your muscles of course.
Wine can motivate us to sing louder, hug strangers and dance like we’re 21 again at a wedding, so why not harness that power to make a positive difference in our lives? Take the Vino Fitness challenge and walk or stagger farther and feel great while doing it! Forget feeling the burn or a runners high. On Vino Fitness you’ll see the world through rose-colored glasses and meet all the interesting people in your neighborhood, all while the wine masks the symptoms of strains, sprains, tears, or injury!
So make time for exercise! And know, that when the time comes, you’ll be ready to tackle that beast head-on thanks to a large travel coffee mug not filled with coffee, but liquid motivation!
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