Mantoan Family Traditions – December

It’s the last month of the year, and the last post in my family traditions series! This one is probably going to be the longest, but with less family updates.( I’ll save those for a future post.) December is busy! Not only are we trying to get ready for Christmas, but we’re doing Advent things, celebrating various feast days, and we’ve got a birthday thrown in there as well.

Advent

For Advent we place an Advent wreath on our dining table and every night, rather than our usual family rosary, we do the Mass readings for the day. We also sing a verse or two of O Come, O Come Emmanuel. The highlight of each evening is everyone arguing over whose turn it is to blow out the candles. We also usually buy a German advent calendar (it’s where the tradition started!) and each day a different child opens a flap. This also can result in lots of arguing if we don’t keep close track of who last opened a flap. Our nativity scene goes up, but we slowly add figures over the corse of Advent with baby Jesus the last figure to get placed on Christmas Eve night. Since we don’t decorate for Christmas until closer to Gaudete Sunday, I will often hang pink and purple lights that we switch out for multicolored lights later on. When we homeschooled year round, we took all of December off and so we had lots of time for Advent activities, like Holy Heroes Advent Adventure. Now, we stop school the Friday before Gaudete Sunday and start back up after January 6.

Related post:

• We Don’t Celebrate Advent

Jesse Tree

During Advent, we also do a Jesse tree, though we were much better about it when everyone was younger and homeschooled. This year, with both boys at home, I’ve been doing the readings again. I honestly can’t remember where I found the list of readings and ornaments we currently use; it’s been so long since I found them! Many of the resources I started using years ago are often no longer available online, or are now behind a paywall. With older students, I’ve enjoyed discussing the scripture passages in more depth, rather than just sharing the story. It’s one Advent tradition that while often associated with younger kids, really does age well.

Feast of St. Nicholas, Dec. 6

A family favorite! I am still mailing treats to Addie in Cleveland for St. Nicholas day, and I had to set aside treats for Byron and Edie who couldn’t be here on the day but who both still expect goodies. For years, our kids have set out their shoes, and when they were younger, cookies were left for the saint and carrots and sugar for his horse. We have always just given chocolate gold coins, candy and nuts; not books, toys, pajamas, etc. And for many years, St. Nick wrote a letter to the kids. Tony also has a playlist of traditional St. Nick carols that we play at supper. Our parish has a St. Nicholas potluck on the Sunday closest to the feast day which Tony has run for many years now.

Feast of St. Ambrose, Dec. 7

Fulton’s middle name is Ambrose, so we consider today his feast day. For years I bought baklava to celebrate, but lately, I’ve had a hard time finding it. (Our local Aldi no longer seems to get it in around the holidays.) Now I try to make a honey cake, and Tony will take Fulton to Mass and Dunkin Donuts like he does with all the kids on their feast day.

Feast of the Immaculate Conception, Dec. 8

We, obviously, attend Mass and often I’ll make a special meal for dinner (ie not frozen pizza night). We also do the Miraculous Medal novena leading up to the feast (and usually a couple days afterwards because we usually miss a day or two.)

Death of Ven. Arbp. Fulton Sheen, Dec. 9

I look forward to the day when Dec. 9 is officially recognized as the feast day of saint Arbp. Fulton J. Sheen, but until then, we make note of it in our home during family prayer time, and if I’m on my ‘A’ game, we’ll watch a Life is Worth Living Episode.

Feasts of Our Lady or Guadalupe, Dec. 12 (and St. Juan Diego, Dec. 9)

I used to have a beautiful paper display from Illuminated Ink I set up on the feast day, but it eventually succumb to the ravages of time… and little fingers. We also used to always listen to the St. Juan Diego & Our Lady of Guadalupe Glory Stories. Now, I just remember to make Mexican food.

Feast of St. Lucy, Dec. 13

Our Adeline Lucille’s feast day! Since she was probably four or five(?) we’ve made a St. Lucy cake and for many years she would wear a light up crown and long white nightgown and parade around the house. Now we just eat the cake with much less pomp and circumstance. She would also get a trip to Mass and Dunkin with Tony. We no longer get to see her on the day, but she’s got the recipe and now bakes the cake for herself.

Edith’s Birthday, Dec. 16

Her due date was in early January, but she surprised us by coming early and upending our Christmas plans. For the first time since getting married, we didn’t travel to visit family that Christmas day in 2005, and we’ve stuck with that tradition ever since (with I think just one exception). Even with all the Advent observing and Christmas prep, I don’t feel like her birthday sneaks up on me or gets overlooked (anymore than any other child’s birthday honestly). But as the absolute middle child, maybe she feels differently.

Third Sunday in Advent, Gaudete Sunday

It’s time to rejoice and decorate! This is the weekend we typically get our tree and put up the majority of our decorations, though we don’t put our Christmas lights on full time until Christmas Eve. We always get a real tree, and the kids have always helped decorate as much as they’re able and I try my hardest to not complain about how things look / rearrange things after the fact.

O Antiphons Dec. 17 -23

During our family prayers, we will listen to the chanting of the O Antiphons, and Tony does some special readings.

Christmas Cookies

We don’t start making Christmas cookies until close to Christmas. We’ll usually make one batch of 2-3 types about a week out (at most) and another 2-3 types within the 12 days after Christmas. We usually have a few we make every year, and occasionally we’ll try something new.

Christmas Eve, Dec. 24

Ever since the Rooney family started coming to our parish (I think 15 or 16 years ago now?) we have gone to their house for Christmas Eve (with 2020 being the one exception). So many people would say, they couldn’t make it, they were too busy, but for me, it was always the perfect way to kick off the transition from Advent to Christmas. My friend Jill always makes a ton of food, which means I don’t need to make a big meal on Christmas Eve; I can focus on prepping for the next day. Things changed when Jill’s husband Frank died suddenly in 2016, but she kept up the Open House tradition and although Frank is no longer there to mix up my whiskey sour, we still enjoy a couple in his honor.

Once we get home, we light the candles on our tree and sing carols. We started doing this in 2013 after a friend of ours invited us over and showed us the real candles on his tree (a family tradition thanks to his German mother). We sung carols together around the candlelight and Tony was sold. Finally, Tony and some of the kids go to Midnight Mass. I stay home, stuff stockings, and finish wrapping and setting out presents. There’s usually refreshments served at Mass so it’s pretty late until everyone gets home.

Christmas Day, Dec. 25

Nowadays, I’m usually the first one up. But of course, that’s because I now have a house filled with teenagers and young adults. It wasn’t that long ago that everyone was up before the sun clamoring to open gifts. Now, I can brew my coffee in peace and slice up the breakfast panettone. I started serving panettone the first year we moved to New Jersey. I wanted a special breakfast that wouldn’t require me to make something, and I saw these Italian cakes in the local grocery; it was the first time I’d heard of them. I’ve been hooked ever since. Some kids like them more than others, consequently, I usually have one frozen St. Lucy cake that I defrost, heat up and serve along side the panettone for breakfast.

As soon as someone is up, we let them open their stocking, but we wait until everyone is awake to open presents. Usually we don’t let anyone sleep past 8 a.m. with Addie consistently the last one out of bed. The kids will also start exchanging their presents for one another before we open the gifts from Santa/ Tony and I. For the record, we did do the whole Santa thing when the kids were little, but once Addie found out, the others all quickly caught on. I don’t think Fulton or Teddy ever really believed in Santa, although I think the belief in St. Nick filling their shoes still persisted.

We then get ready and head to Mass. I really wanted to counter the idea that Christmas is about presents and for me, that meant going to church on Christmas day. I know the vigil masses count, but everything else in the world is saying Christmas is about presents, or togetherness, or, the big one, FAMILY! And while, yes, a wonderful part of Christmas is spending time with family and friends, the focus should be on Christ. We’re not a big vigil family for most other Masses (Sundays or Holy Days) so why make Christmas the exception to our norm? I understand this tradition may not work for other families, but I’m really glad we’ve stuck with it. I like that it makes our day different from how most people celebrate. I like that we’re making a bit of a sacrifice to celebrate a day that otherwise can fall prey to over-indulgence. When I think about all the Christmas day running around we did in the few early years of our marriage to please family, making the effort to go to Mass seems downright easy. Yes our kids complained when they were little, and there’s still some grumbling at times, but it’s just what we do. My kids will be free to do whatever they want with their own families.

After Mass we come home and have appetizers and Tony and I finish making all the food. We have our main meal sometime in the late afternoon, usually between 3-4. And then later in the evening we break out desserts. We toss as much packaging and wrapping paper as we can, but everyone pretty much leaves their stuff piled around the living room for days. Some years we’ve had grandparents visit us on the day, (and one year we had orphans) but most years, it’s just us.

The 12 Days of Christmas (Between Christmas and Epiphany)

This is when we really blast the Christmas music and watch all the Christmas movies. We’ll assemble a gingerbread house, bake more cookies, and visit with family.There’s lots of great feasts within the 12 days, and we usually hit a couple, either with Mass or activities, but never with any consistency. We’ll light the tree candles at least two more times and sing carols and Tony is usually off this entire time. There’s lots of games, puzzles, and we swap out the purple and pink candles and say our family prayers around a white Christmas candle. The house is usually a disaster this entire time and I can never remember what day it is.

Related posts:

• Baby Steps to Living Liturgically
• Seven Day Christmas Planner for Winners
• How to Celebrate the 12 Days of Christmas
• The American Catholic Liturgical Year

New Year’s Eve, Dec. 31

If it’s not too cold, we’ll walk downtown to see the dropping of the giant blueberry, but otherwise we’ll watch Daddy’s Home 2 and then make rude comments while watching Ryan Seacrest’s Rocking New Year’s Eve Celebration in Times Square. I set out a big assortment of finger foods to pick at all night long. And then at midnight we watch the fireworks either set off by the town or our neighbors. For years, when the kids were all younger, we rarely made it up to midnight. Now, most of us stay up with usually only Fulton retiring early.

Phew! And that’s a wrap. How does your family celebrate Advent and Christmas? I hope you’ve found these posts as fun to read as I’ve had writing them!