Mantoan Family Traditions – November

Another month has wrapped up so it’s time to sit back, reflect, and record all the things our family tends to do during the month of November. (Since Advent starts in December this year, I’m going to share all our Advent traditions in my December Family Traditions post.)

Month of the Holy Souls

For many years now (I can’t remember when we started) we use our glut of Halloween candy as a reminder to pray for a different departed friend or family member throughout the month of November. This practice was inspired by the OG liturgical year guru, Jessica at Shower of Roses, though I no longer use her printables. I simply number a lined sheet of paper from 1 to 30, fill in names, and stick it on the front of the refrigerator. At the end of the month I file away the list in our liturgical year binder and then as people die through out the next year, I jot their name in the margins. When I sit down at the end of each October, I pull out the previous year’s list to help me remember to include everyone. Every day (usually after breakfast, since candy at breakfast time seems like even more of a treat) everyone chooses two pieces of candy and says two prayers for the soul of the day. We usually also offer several family rosaries for the people on our list. Last year I texted a picture of the list to Addie and Byron in case they wanted to join along.

Feast of All Saints, Nov. 1 & Feast of All Souls Nov. 2

We attend Mass at our parish on the first (Holy Day of Obligation!) and usually some or all of us attend on the second. There’s also a Mass said at the cemetery near our house on the second, and so we’ve gone to that as well.

We try to get to a cemetery as a family and say prayer for the dead in order to get the indulgence, but we’re not the best at making it happen. Thankfully, I can walk to the cemetery and at the very least, I get to go and say prayers there quite a bit even if we don’t all make it.

School Break, First Full Week of November

In NJ, the state teacher’s union holds their annual meeting at the beginning of November, so all the districts have at least part of the week off. In the district we live now, students are given the whole week. While I used to take the week of Halloween off when everyone was younger and homeschooling, we made the first week of November our school break when the boys were in school so everyone was on the same schedule, and now I’ve continued to take that week off since it’s a good week to travel to visit out-of-state family. I’ve learned it’s best for me to take at least a week off after homeschooling for about 9 to 10 weeks in a row. Pushing myself past that point means we simply have two to three weeks of me yelling a lot, oodles of take out food, and capitulation to endless hours of educational videos.

Martinmas, aka feast of St. Martin of Tours, Nov. 11

I don’t remember when we started celebrating Martinmas, but once Tony learned about it, it’s been roasted duck, lantern creation, and German Martinmas carols ever since! In all honesty, we’ve only made lanterns a handful of times, and we usually tell Tony to stop singing carols before he starts, BUT for many years there’s been a family we also hang out with for this feast and that tradition has continued. We can rarely meet on the actual feast day anymore. (BIG KID ACTIVITIES!) However, usually within a week or two we can all get together, eat pizza, and is now our tradition, watch a terrible sci-fi / action movie. I hope St. Martin understands that all this merriment is in his honor, even if it’s lost all semblance of a traditional liturgical celebration. On the actual day, we still try to eat duck, listen to carols and share the story of St. Martin of Tours. (I was very disappointed to find a lack of posts and photos about our Martinmas traditions in my archives and photo albums. Something to work on next year!)

Feast of St. Gertrude the Great, Nov. 16

Say her prayer! SAY IT! Go ahead and release a few thousand souls from purgatory while you’re at it!

Eternal Father, I offer Thee the Most Precious Blood of Thy Divine Son, Jesus, in union with the masses said throughout the world today, for all the holy souls in purgatory, for sinners everywhere, for sinners in the universal church, those in my own home and within my family. Amen

Thanksgiving

We have always spent Thanksgiving with my side of the family. When I was a kid, Thanksgiving was always held at my paternal grandmother’s house, so we continue the tradition of visiting with my dad’s side of the family. My parents host Thanksgiving with a few exceptions for years when I was pregnant, just had a baby, or when Teddy was recovering from back surgery. And there was one year my parent’s hosted, but since my mom was recovering from emergency eye surgery for a detached retina, I cooked most of the food (though I think my dad handled the turkey). Every year, Tony and I bring pumpkin and apple pies, plus a green vegetable. Some other typical sides are listed in my PA Dutch recipes post.

Our traditions are similar to most; eat turkey, watch football, catch up and retell old family stories. Some times we’ve stayed in Lancaster for the long weekend, but nowadays, we tend to visit for the day and come back to Jersey. This year Addie was able to drive home for Thanksgiving, along with her boyfriend. It’s been a couple years since she was able to make it, so it was wonderful to have everyone together. We don’t start decorating for Christmas until closer to Gaudete Sunday, but we still attend tree lightings, parades etc., and this year we tried visiting the German Christmas Village in Philadelphia while everyone was home. It….did not go as planned. To sum it up: too cold, too crowded, an elevator not working at the subway station closest to the event, ALL the elevators reeking of urine (+puddles), and Fulton’s wheelchair battery dying while he was in the middle of a crosswalk in front of City Hall. We will all be able to laugh about it some day I’m sure.

Note: I know everyone does the St. Andrew Christmas Novena that begins November 30. We don’t. I didn’t forget to mention it. Again, proof that you don’t need to do everything; just what works for your family. Please don’t allow yourself to feel guilty over something like not saying a novena.

One more month of traditions to go! Hopefully with all the calm and peaceful Advent observing going on here, I’ll still have time to write a post.