My New Children’s Book!

After the success of my first book ‘Mom is Mad’ and the follow-up best seller ‘The Best Laid Plans’ I’m pleased to announce the release of my first title just for children and their guilt stricken mothers!

KIDS BOOK COVER

This soon to be classic details the deep love and affection every mother feels towards her child even when said mother is angry, sullen, sobbing uncontrollably or hiding in the bathroom with a box of wine.

mama with coffee

Each lavishly illustrated page pulls the child in and comforts them with familiar sights, facial expressions and sets the bar exceptionally low for moms who are tired of their children asking “Why don’t we life in a castle like Cinderella?”

OBSCENITIES PAGE

From my years of sleepless nights rehashing all the ways I’ve scarred my children for life I’ve captured relatable characters your children will instantly feel comfortable telling their future therapists about.

BEDTIME PAGE

Sure to become a keepsake passed down from generation to generation, you’ll be grateful that this children’s book comes with a library binding standard. The covers are also flavored like Pine-Sol to discourage chewing and give your house a clean scent.

Couch page

See which Mama your kids think you most closely resemble, and then spend the rest of the day trying to convince them otherwise/ make it up to them …just for fun!

ER VISIT PAGE

Is a First Holy Communion or birthday right around the corner? Or do you just need something to bribe your child with so you can finish cooking / Instagramming your damn dinner? I’ve got you covered.

waiter page

Order today! Supplies are limited! Does your child know they are loved unconditionally? Buy ‘Your Mama Still Loves You’ just to be sure! Let them know your screams are filled with heartfelt concern and your nagging laced with care. Be prepared to read their new favorite bed story over and over OR order the audio version for only $9.99 more. Because a strangers voice can get the message across too.

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6 Comments

  1. This might be the funniest thing I’ve ever read…mostly because it’s so, so true. The ER one had me laughing out loud, you’re a comic genius.

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