I like to think that I’m a fun mom more than half of the time. The rest of the time, I like to think life in this house is still better that a Dickens novel. I work hard at what I do and after eleven years as a mom, I feel I’ve finally got my act together. But it’s all knowledge I had to earn in the trenches; crawling along with my belly in the mud while being pummeled with Nerf bullets. Despite a college degree and several years in the workforce I wasn’t adequately prepared for my role as mother, educator and homemaker. The rigor of a four-year degree still left me woefully uneducated in the world of childcare, food preparation and surviving on less than two hours of unbroken sleep. More than a decade later, our colleges and universities are still turning out adults unprepared for parenthood.
Maybe you’ve said to yourself, “I want to get married and have a big family!”, “I think homeschooling sounds great!” or “Isn’t there more housework I can do?”. You’ve got the gumption, but you lack proper training and the right opportunity. In a the highly competitive field of homeschooling motherhood, it’s easy to get overlooked and passed over for promotion. You need to find a way to stand out from the crowd.
That’s why I’ve decided to offer full-time internships to help women, and men, develop the first-hand knowledge and confidence that will enable them to leave the world and stay at home to educate their children. My three or six month internships will help you develop necessary skills, connect you with other experts in the field and provide you with a resume guaranteed to open doors…to the pantry, the linen closet and the laundry room just to name a few.
You’ll be qualified to apply for positions in early childhood education, hazardous material collection and clean up, culinary arts, business administration, and so much more!
While these positions are not paid, neither is the position you’ll be applying for. However I offer a competitive benefits package including no vacation or sick days, 24 hour access to a box of Band-Aids plus a piggy bag to store any spare change you find while cleaning around the couch. A generous meal plan comes standard and includes all the leftovers and tap water your heart desires.
To be eligible, interns need to be alive and comfortable sleeping on a cot in my basement. I am an equal opportunity employer and will hire anyone and everyone who shows up to apply.
Email me today and take the first step towards realizing your goals!
Ha! So true. 7 kids, 11 years of marriage, and I think I’m finally getting the hang of it! If you get any extra applicants, send them my way!
“…includes all the leftovers and tap water your heart desires.” You’ll have them knocking down your doors with that little benefit! 🙂
Ha!!! I almost spit out my tea a few times. Pure awesome.
I keep telling people that my dual degrees in Theatre Design and Theatre for Youth actually did a great job at preparing me for parenthood. I can sew, repair major appliances, paint, organize a business and create fun educational plans for a variety of ages all while dealing with someone having a temper tantrum because you didn’t bring them the exact right shirt or their towel is cold. I even learned how to cloth large number of people from thrift stores for basically no money! And all of that on about 2 hours of sleep. For getting “Family and Consumer Science Degrees” go be a theatre major!
After a day like today, I’m all like, “Pick me! Take me away!”