Since the previous years’ winners cannot win again in the same categories, I don’t feel the need to engage in a smear campaign or organize my SuperPAC. This year, it’s an open playing field, with competitors getting narrowed down until only the creme de la creme remain. It’s like the Olympics without all the randomized drug testing and skin-tight athletic gear. (I mean, unless that’s your WIWS standard.)
Once I realized what was at stake for this round of the Sheenazings, I immediately got into training mode.
This post is best read while listening to Survivor.
Forget a Whole30 or sugar detox, I’m just guzzling PURE PROTEIN.
My mornings are spent stretching and flexing my selfie muscles.
Just pulling my van with my teeth. Oh, you do CrossFit? How cute.
In the afternoon, I start with weightlifting.
Then progress onto cardio.
And finish with some resistance training.
My funny bone can take it! Feel the burn!!!
Thankfully, I’ve got Addie as my personal trainer. She’s pushing me to my full potential.
“You call that funny? I wrote 500 funnier words for my CCD report!!!”
Last year, I didn’t win anything and it’s a pain I haven’t forgotten. I’m resolved to not walk away empty handed this year. SHEENAZING III; it’s on!