I’m so excited to reveal my bevy of Something Other Than God contest entries. I know I could’ve just emailed them all to Jen and crossed my fingers, but what’s the fun in that? I’m a firm believer in the power of social media, and since some of these entries are based on merit, feel free to share them over the internets and let Jen know which one should earn me a giftcard. Mama needs to order some more latex free exam gloves!
First my review on a retail website.
This book described Jen’s lifelong search to answer the questions around the gaping black hole that formed in her soul at a young age. Like a big tasty donut, she found distraction, but not contentment with life wide variety of toppings; the sprinkles of career success, the sweet pink icing of material gains, the toasted coconut flakes of smug self-righteousness at witnessing the flaws of modern Christianity in its myriad of forms. Until finally, she discovered the fluffy white creme de la creme of the Catholic church and realized it was not the gross custard flavor she imagined. Her donut was complete and it is for us to enjoy the tasty, tasty recipe with a side of coffee.
Next, THE EPIC SELFIE CATEGORY. I only have three entries.
1. Velociraptors; are they trying to find me, or #SOTG???
2. DEVO, Whip It! When a problem comes along you must whip it! When the cream sets out to long, say forget it and go read #SOTG. CRACK open THAT book!
3. The Most Interesting Blogger in the world. Stay thirsty….for knowledge my friends.
Finally, I created a Something Other Than God cocktail. As I have NO experience making drinks, this was a toughy, but by pulling inspiration from the pages and my dusty supply of liquor bottles, I think I created a unique and tasty beverage. Check out the tutorial.
For the record that’s:
1 glug, fine red wine
1 shot of Tequila
1 glug from a 40 oz bottle of malt liquor
A generous squirt of hot sauce
1+ shots of Mama Walkers Bacon Liqueur
You can’t even imagine the flavor! Look, here I am sharing it with the deck!
I would advise serving my #SOTG cocktail to anyone who doesn’t love the book or who wants to engage in tiresome arguments about “problems” within the Catholic Church. “Oh, do you disagree with Jen’s conclusions and believe in an all lesbian clergy centered around an Earth goddess? Let me mix you a drink while we calmly discuss that.” I like to say that the burning in your mouth represents eternal hellfire.
So readers, I hope you’ve enjoyed viewing these entries. I encourage all forms of gentle encouragement / communication (I didn’t officially say spamming, but wink, wink) with our dear author to let her know these epic selfies demand recognition. And if you haven’t yet entered your own pics and reviews, you have until Friday….but faced with this competition, I don’t know why you’d bother.
Those selfies! You win.
Oh my word, those selfies are fantastic. Might as well start planning a trip to buy some gloves. That gift card is yours!
Crap, Kelly, how can anyone contend with this?!?! You DO win, you win them all.
Ha! I was just waiting to see what you would come up with. Devo? You stole my heart with that one!
DYING!!! You win all the things. Jen, don’t even bother with looking at anything else because Kelly. “It’s a big scorpion” Oh my goodness…so funny.
You win the entire internet. Done.
Call off the contest! The winner has been found!. Your selfies are the best 🙂
These are the best.
HAHAHAHAHA!!! I love it! You win.
What a spotless kitchen floor!!
I’m glad I was not the only one to notice! Cleanest kitchen floor in all the land! Oh, and funny, too, of course!
You win!! So funny!!
Velociraptors! The most epic of epic.
You hiding from the raptors looks like me when I was reading the book hiding from my hungry kids!
You are so very brave, I think I could have done the velociraptor, but totally not the DEVO.
omg, it’ll be all your fault if I wake my sleeping kids because I can’t stop laughing at these. Hi-lar-i-ous.
A shocked Helen exclaimed: Did Mrs. M REALLY DRINK THAT??? In her MOUTH?????
She is very impressed by you. I, on the other hand, am a little bit afraid to visit your kitchen any time soon.
I’m laughing so hard, Kelly!!!
Dear Kelly,
I found your blog because of this hilarious video from conversion diary. I appreciate your wit, but I just wanted you to know that I was hurt by your joke about lesbian clergy worshipping the goddess. I am a woman who also happens to be a lesbian and a theology student. Although I know we might have some disagreements (and I respect your conviction), I was hurt by that comment and needed to tell you. Sometimes because we assume people won’t be in our readership or we don’t know them personally, we get a laugh at their expense. But God led me to your blog. Please reconsider the jokes you make and the spirit they convey.
Thank you,
Rachel
This is hysterical. Jen said it best: You win the internet. Thank you for sharing!
It’s not often that I grimace and have a puke-flavored college flashback when I read blogs – but that cocktail recipe did it for me.
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww yea. THAT’s what I’m talkin’ about. Wanna see that last selfie on Jen’s t-shirt, stat!!!! Faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaantastic!!!!!!
On a t-shirt AT EDEL. THOSE ARE MY DEMANDS!
Dude! Velociraptors, I mean, Say WHAAAAAT!? You do win the internet. And I want that t-shirt too! You got some, erm, guts taking a swig of that drink, super impressed. Pretty excited for my video…. cheers!