{SQT} Five Plus Two; Truth Is Stranger Than Fiction

THANK GOODNESS I got tagged by Ana and Jessie to tell five things about myself cause I was hard up for anything to write about for this weeks Quick Takes. Every so often I go through spells where the ideas just keep flying at me like stink bugs. Then I have weeks like this where I pour my soul into one post and then pretty much peter out.

1. However, I did realize after three horrible days that we’d been accidentally brewing decaf coffee. DECAF COFFEE. Its been like ‘Night of the Living Dead’ around here; me dragging my sorry carcass around, moaning and groaning. The kids are running and screaming, uncertain of when I’ll strike next. And gritty B film quality attack scenes when Tony asks how my day’s been.

2. And now for an interesting tidbit. Tony and I ran a Victorian bed and breakfast in Lancaster County, PA for two years. We moved from Syracuse, NY back home to Lancaster, where we’re both from, when Addie was 13 months old and Byron was three weeks. We moved into the third floor studio apartment of an old Victorian House. The kids shared the bedroom (separated from the rest of the living space by only a curtain) and Tony and I slept on a futon, which was also our couch. We rented seven rooms downstairs and prepared breakfast for guests. We were positive that after only a year of Tony working a second job (which was an hour and half commute, one way), we’d be pulling in enough money with just the B&B that he could quit and we’d be self-employed and self-sufficient. Since I’m not the author of a B&B blog, you can guess things didn’t work out quite as planned. Some day I’ll write out this whole tale, complete with FBI tie in, as part of my forthcoming “Tales of Regret” series.

3. My senior year of high school, I dressed up as the school principal for Halloween. Padded my hips out with dish towels and everything. And you have to understand this woman was not known for her sense of humor. I think some of the staff thought I was crazy. But, in all honesty the worst part of the whole day was I only came in second place in the costume contest; behind a girl in a store-bought cow costume, that she had worn the year before!

4. I was also our schools mascot my senior year. Which meant wearing a big padded muscle man suit and what many of my friends called “a giant orange sperm” on my head. We were the comets and I was unapologetically Comet Man! Years later, I went to visit my parents and walked in to find the comet head on the guest bed. Seems the school was getting rid of it and my dad snapped it up for me as “a surprise.” It was a surprise all right; freaked the heck out of the kids. They couldn’t go to sleep until the scary head was taken from the room.

5. During my brief stint as a newspaper reporter I met/interviewed the following people: the Violent Femmes, Walter Cronkite, President Bill Clinton and his wife Hillary, Sen. Charles Schumer, Margaret Cho, Cardinal Avery Dulles (twice) and I shook the hand of NY Governor George Pataki and wouldn’t let go until he answered my question about a union strike.

6. I toured nine European countries in 13 days in January 2000. I traveled alone, but with a tour group consisting of around 50 rowdy Australians who kept encouraging me to drink way too much. I wound up losing my passport on our last night in Paris, almost getting denied entry back into England and spending my last day in London at the US embassy replacing my passport so I could catch my flight home that night.

7. In other news this week…

photo (35)

Edie’s baby doll was held for ransom. Eventually the kidnappers agreed upon a ransom amount ( five cents) but were forced to turn over the doll by the authorities before receiving payment.

I don’t know if these five things helped explain why my children are the way they are or not. But now it is decreed that I select five more bloggers to carry on the five random things torch. Go forth now Rachel, Colleen, Colleen, Micaela, and Jenna. Go forth and be random in the all the choicest ways. And now, head back from whence you came, to greener pastures that lie yonder over at Jen’s amongst all the other fine Takers of the Quick.
writing a literary essay


  1. I could see how the idea of running a B&B could be better than actually running a B&B…..but I do love me some Lancaster! I miss the outlets and my children are going through withdrawals no longer living anywhere near a railway station that Thomas the Tank Engine regularly visits….we are super cultured like that 🙂

  2. I’m going to get another cup of coffee (not decaf!). I originally read that you were running a B&B IN Syracuse. I was thinking…”WHY would anyone want to do that??” Then I reread.

  3. This is the best ever: the b&b, the costumes, the celebs… definitely best 5 things.

    At first I thought the decaf coffee thing was a joke and then I realized that no one should joke about that and it wasn’t- I hope you’re back on the real bean today.

  4. Aw, shucks. You went and tagged me. Now, what exactly am I supposed to do? Talk about myself a lot? OH, I hardly know where to start. HA!

    Next: You are even more of a celebrity than I originally imagined! And you’ve led quite the life. I’m going to need immediate information on the FBI tie-in, though. That cliffhanger is killing me.

  5. I would LOVE to hear more about your B&B experience! I have been dreaming of running a B&B when I’m retired (so this is about 30 years from now!) and I always hear that it’s harder than you think.

    What an express tour of Europe you had! My husband and I visited 11 countries while we LIVED in Europe for 8 months so I’ve very impressed at your 13-day adventure!

  6. Ok, so I have been reading your blog since Jennifer Fulwiler linked to you. I have also been following you on twitter. I love, love, love your sense of humor! Now I also know you are the coolest chick ever!! You interviewed the violent femmes? Thanks for bringing me back to high school as blasted “Blister in the Sun” everywhere I went. I will be singing this song for rest of the day. Also, I love how you listed them first!!

  7. Okay everyone, I need to confess, I photographed the Violent Femmes, right up in front of the stage, but as for the interview, two of the guys refused to be interviewed and the drummer, who was new, just laid on the couch and answered questions from the press in as few words as possible. It was very disappointing. Thankfully, their performance wasn’t.
    Also, the B&B. *Sigh* The final chapter really did involve an interview with the FBI. Seriously, I will have to dedicate a post to the whole story. It was one of those situations that went from bad, to horrible to “ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?!” in a few short months. The fact that I was pregnant during most of the drama didn’t help.
    And you’ll be happy to know I’m feeling MUCH better today after drinking REAL coffee. A little jittery, but I’ll take it!

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