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  • {SQT} Happy Ani-birth-og Giveaway!
Written by kmantoan on 02/22/2013

{SQT} Happy Ani-birth-og Giveaway!

Humor . Seven Quick Takes

To celebrate my first blog-o-versary day, I thought I’d host my first giveaway! It was pretty hard to line up sponsors. I know some bloggers who just get all types of cool stuff thrown at them; rugs, clothes, cleaning supplies, jewelry, books, phones, single Croatian women…oh, wait, that last one was from my spam folder. Anyway, I managed to get some prizes lined up, and I can’t wait to award them to  seven of my lucky readers! I feel like Bob Barker or Monty Hall! This is so exciting!

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1. A gallon of my husband’s homemade apple wine. Vintage 2010, and aged in a Lipton Citrus Green Tea bottle. My husband assures me last time he checked, it smelled fine, or in fancy wine speak “pungent.”

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2. An Abeka Math Grade 3 student workbook and test book. Together these normally retail for $21.05 . And only 1/4 of each has been used! Who needs those first few chapters anyway?

3. A hot stone massage! Imagine laying nude, face down on my dining table, cushioned gently by my 20-year-old yoga mat and draped in a cozy beach towel while my children throw hot stones on your back and a John Williams CD drowns out the screaming toddler in the living room. Ahhhh!!! Just  feel those tensions melting away!

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4. A piece of the Jersey Shore (which may or may not have come from my driveway)! Count yourself among such local celebrities as Snookie, Thomas Edison and Joe Pesci. This plot of earth entitles you to all rights and privileges that come with property ownership in the Garden State; including the highest taxes in the country. This bag of dirt will cost you approximately $2,000 a year.

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5. An original Byron Mantoan piece of art. C’mon, my mom says it’s priceless; don’t let her corner the market.

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6. A Dell Inspiron laptop! ….circa 1999. If you load an obsure Linux operating system onto it, it runs almost as well as a iMac G3. Plus, compared to a hefty toddler,  it’s lightweight at only 20 pounds. Guaranteed that no one feels guilty after juice gets spilled on it!

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7. And the Grand Prize: A weekend spiritual retreat in a monastic cell, also known as our unfinished upstairs bathroom. Retreat includes bread, fresh straw tossed on the floor and a hip  tonsure courtesy of yours truly.

So there you have it folks! I haven’t figured out all the ins and outs of Rafflecopter so just leave a comment and consider yourself entered. And don’t worry, if need be I will track you down and hand deliver your prizes...I promise, mwhahahaha. But if you’d rather avoid the festivities here, allow Vanna to show you what’s behind the curtain back at Jen’s.

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Tags: giveaway, homemade wine, monastic retreat, NJ

10 comments

  • Amanda has written: 02/22/2013 at 2:08 pm Reply

    I could really use a weekend retreat….happy anniversary!

  • Kellie Miller has written: 02/22/2013 at 2:18 pm Reply

    Happy Anniversary, or Birthday!!! So glad you started it. You have given me so many laughs. I love your writing!

  • Jenny has written: 02/22/2013 at 2:27 pm Reply

    I will take the apple wine and the hot stone massage by screaming minions, if you can work that into some kind of a package deal. I love your writing.

  • Pat J has written: 02/22/2013 at 2:55 pm Reply

    Why can’t I giggle? I do this insane snort of laughter at posts like this. Congratulations! I’m glad you started blogging and I’m really blessed that I found you!

  • Colleen Martin has written: 02/22/2013 at 3:10 pm Reply

    Homemade wine? What a keeper!

  • Considerer has written: 02/22/2013 at 3:33 pm Reply

    Happy Blog-aversary-day! I’d totally go for the Star Wars Original Art (If he can make anything Star Trek, so much the better) And congrats on your mention on conversiondiary – you’ve made history 🙂

  • Jenna@CallHerHappy has written: 02/22/2013 at 5:14 pm Reply

    I don’t know which I am hoping for more, the dirt or the art. Either one would really increase my quality of living. *fingers crossed*

  • Bonnie has written: 02/22/2013 at 6:14 pm Reply

    Yes! If I blog and tweet about this do I get extra entries?

    • kmantoan has written: 02/22/2013 at 6:20 pm Reply

      Your enthusiasm alone has given you a slight edge; but tweeting and blogging is definitely encouraged. Too bad you gave up Facebook; that would have been a triple word score!

  • Beth S has written: 02/22/2013 at 7:39 pm Reply

    LOL! It’s all so tempting! Happy Blogiversary, Kelly!

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