{SQT} Happy Ani-birth-og Giveaway!

To celebrate my first blog-o-versary day, I thought I’d host my first giveaway! It was pretty hard to line up sponsors. I know some bloggers who just get all types of cool stuff thrown at them; rugs, clothes, cleaning supplies, jewelry, books, phones, single Croatian women…oh, wait, that last one was from my spam folder. Anyway, I managed to get some prizes lined up, and I can’t wait to award them to  seven of my lucky readers! I feel like Bob Barker or Monty Hall! This is so exciting!

1. A gallon of my husband’s homemade apple wine. Vintage 2010, and aged in a Lipton Citrus Green Tea bottle. My husband assures me last time he checked, it smelled fine, or in fancy wine speak “pungent.”

2. An Abeka Math Grade 3 student workbook and test book. Together these normally retail for $21.05 . And only 1/4 of each has been used! Who needs those first few chapters anyway?

3. A hot stone massage! Imagine laying nude, face down on my dining table, cushioned gently by my 20-year-old yoga mat and draped in a cozy beach towel while my children throw hot stones on your back and a John Williams CD drowns out the screaming toddler in the living room. Ahhhh!!! Just  feel those tensions melting away!

4. A piece of the Jersey Shore (which may or may not have come from my driveway)! Count yourself among such local celebrities as Snookie, Thomas Edison and Joe Pesci. This plot of earth entitles you to all rights and privileges that come with property ownership in the Garden State; including the highest taxes in the country. This bag of dirt will cost you approximately $2,000 a year.

5. An original Byron Mantoan piece of art. C’mon, my mom says it’s priceless; don’t let her corner the market.

6. A Dell Inspiron laptop! ….circa 1999. If you load an obsure Linux operating system onto it, it runs almost as well as a iMac G3. Plus, compared to a hefty toddler,  it’s lightweight at only 20 pounds. Guaranteed that no one feels guilty after juice gets spilled on it!

7. And the Grand Prize: A weekend spiritual retreat in a monastic cell, also known as our unfinished upstairs bathroom. Retreat includes bread, fresh straw tossed on the floor and a hip  tonsure courtesy of yours truly.

So there you have it folks! I haven’t figured out all the ins and outs of Rafflecopter so just leave a comment and consider yourself entered. And don’t worry, if need be I will track you down and hand deliver your prizes...I promise, mwhahahaha. But if you’d rather avoid the festivities here, allow Vanna to show you what’s behind the curtain back at Jen’s.