I’d hardly say I’m a lifestyle blogger. But, never one to shy away from a challenge, I finally decided to go there in full Martha Stewart glory. Behold, seven pages from “Livin'” a lifestyle magazine devoted to food, family, fashion and decorating: Kelly Mantoan style.
1. The cover. I donned my usual robe, and a Pinterest worthy messy bun for this welcoming shot. (Click each picture to enlarge it to it’s full glory and save as your new desktop wallpaper.)
Page 2, Food post!
Page 3, Look at the glossy full page shots, bathed in natural light that showcase all the beauty of my home! Check that envy ladies!
Page 4, Decorating tips you’ll find no where else; I’m positive!
Page 5, Gardening tips for people who hate plants!
Page 6, Don’t worry, for those of you dying to know how I manage to look so good in my selfies, I’ve included TWO pages of fashion tips.
Page 7
Lifestyle blogger? NAILED IT.
Did that whet your appetite for more? Pre-order your subscription now for the low introductory price of $35.99. While I’m processing your order, to be filled sometime in 2016, swing back to Bonnie’s for voting and then over to Jen’s for some more bloggers who aren’t going to beat me in the Lifestyle category.
D.Y.I.N.G. Seriously, you may have to stuff my head and put it on a hair clip.
LOL, for real!
I’m pretty sure this is the best post I’ve ever read. Excellent start to my (equally magazine-slick) morning.
Oh my gosh. I just couldn’t explain to my 12 year old why I was laughing so hard.
Today is going to be a good day. How could It not after starting it reading that?! Totally Sheenazing 🙂
Probably the funniest post ever! You’re topping your own level of funny, now, Kelly.!
Page 3 is my favorite. I have definitely found that open cabinet drawers invite kids to forage and guests to help themselves. Defintiely makes you the hostess with the mostess.
Great! I finally have the right word for when my husband searches the pantry closet…. foraging.
Okay, so you may have shot yourself in the foot for best lifestyle blog but you certainly put yourself ahead of the competition in funniest blog 🙂 You should seriously publish an anti-lifestyle magazine exactly like this. Feel free to come by my house and do an article on our botched stair renovation and chic cat-scratched carpets 😉
So much this. Run for the hills, Martha!!! I would totally buy an anti-lifestyle magazine, especially if it was this funny!
You just got my vote.
WTH? This is the best post of my life!
I’m at work and I think people think I’m crazy because I am snorting and trying not to laugh. LOVE IT!!!!!!!
LOL!! I needed this laugh this AM!
The picture of you with the houseplants is SO SO SO funny!!! Everytime I look at it I lose it! Dammit you’re a fierce competitor, Kelly. How am I supposed to compete with that houseplant picture?!?!? Goodbye Sheenazing Award, goodbyyyyye!
Next time I feel sad I’m coming here and looking at this post again:):) Thanks for making me LOL!
Wait, am I NOT supposed to want to wear the sow necklace? Because I do want to. I DO. If I have one more baby I might have to insist on it.
I’m laughing so hard I can’t even breathe.
Love this! When I saw the ballot yesterday, I couldn’t believe you weren’t nominated in the “coolest blogger” category. I mean, seriously?
“Get it your damn self” Hilarious.
(It’s also how lunch is done at my house.)
This is so freaking funny. And what the hell is going on with that hamster clip??
I thought the dirty bathroom drove home the realism.
LMAO
Love it. I’ll be sending my subsription. I too, had a child who wondered why I was laughing so hard…hard to explain to a 6 year old!
You have a new HUGE fan! 🙂
It’s probably good I’m not drinking anything… because I would have killed Jon’s MacBook by spit-taking!
The hamster hair clips in #6 remind me of something that the Bloggess would conceive of doing.
Good grief people, do I really need to spell it out for you? Blah blah blah…
Death by Kelly’s Humor. It’s a real thing.
Sign my up!!! Especially liked the gardening segment. Right up my alley.
Question. Once someone starts reading your blog, is there a way to stop… like, for dinner? Or to change a diaper (the baby’s or, once they’ve wised up about what to expect here, their own)..? Rehab recommendations, please!
I’m new to “This Ain’t the Lyceum” and I just need you to know that I feel like I died and went to heaven. It was a happy death, don’t worry. And now I’m crying happy hysterical tears, desperately trying not to have a loud outburst of laughter and wake up the toddler sleeping beside me. Thank you, thank you, for breaking up the doldrums of a bleak wintry day!!! 🙂
Best.Post.EVAH!!!
I’d like to know where to request my subscription.
My favorite is the title of the book your daughter is reading. Perfect!
I am reading this while holding a sleeping babe & my shaking from all the laughing keeps waking him up. Way too funny!
Kelly, you are my people. I think I hurt something from laughing.
This popped up on my facebook memories and I had to read it again. Still funny. That picture of you with the dead houseplants…a few days ago I opened my big van back doors and found…four enormous dead poinsettias. Our parish gives them away after Christmas and each of my kids got one. Why? Why do we need four poinsettias after Christmas? Anyway, we put them in the back of the van and by the time we drove two miles home we completely forgot about them. I carried them straight from the van to the trash without even telling the children.
Hilarious!