{SQT} Training For The Rest Of Us

Thank you for all the early support for 35K For SMA! Solicitation letters and emails are in the works! I registered for my first race and after next Saturday, press releases are going out, because it’s go big or go home around here! (All the exclamation points all the time!!!!!)

At least until the school year starts. I’m also in the midst of rearranging the downstairs and attempting to potty train Teddy so it’s been an exciting week all around. Seriously, after poop vials, cleaning up puddles of toddler piddle is downright fun.

My one hesitation before I launched #35K4SMA (yes, I created an official hashtag, BOOYAH!), was what would happen if after asking everyone for money for other charities, our family was struck with a huge financial hardship? How could I ask again? “What would happen to us? What about the children!?”, she pondered dramatically before fainting on the divan. And then God was all *face palm* and sent a reminder on how things really work.

Remember how the lift on our van broke? We finally took it in for service on Wednesday. After hours at the shop, they still hadn’t been able to locate the problem. Finally, they tracked down two bad switches, which of course, they had to order. The van will go back next week for service. Did I mention labor costs $115 an hour?But here’s the thing, at the wedding we just attended, the bride and groom gave a donation to our family in leu of favors, plus I recently rediscovered a donation check given to us months ago. So the cost of repairs? Almost covered in full. It’s not going to wipe our firewood money or school book money or anything. Despite my tendency to sometimes assume we’re only two steps away from selling our organs on the black market, God continues to provide and this is exactly why I’m paying it forward.

If you’re motivated to join in  3.1 miles of sweaty, mouth breathing fun, I’ve compiled a list of training tips gathered over my long and illustrious running career. …which may or may not span the first four weeks of the c25K ap.

1. Download a Couch to 5K running ap. Schedule your first race. Commence freaking out when you realize you just paid $55 for someone to throw mud or color on you in two weeks and your ap says you need five weeks to get ready.

2. Schedule a regular running time. Three to four times a week is ideal. Three to four times in the same amount of months? Not so much. Mornings are nice because it’s cooler and hopefully you can sneak out before the kids notice you’re gone. I pay my oldest daughter to deal with the little boys if they wake up and I’m not here. That way my husband can still get ready for work in a timely manner. I find that by placing the baby monitor right next to her pillow on the loudest setting assures she won’t sleep through their needs while Papa is in the shower.

3. As you step foot outside, start the ap and you’re off! Just please, please check for traffic when crossing the road. When you begin your day with exercise and not coffee, mistakes are inevitable. Running may kill you, but let’s just keep it metaphorical alright? Also, now is a good time to make sure you changed into running clothes and a supportive sports bra.

4. Remember six minutes into the workout that you didn’t stretch. Ignore the pain, the searing, searing pain. Good grief where is it coming from? No wonder the original marathon runner dropped DOA. Begin long drawn out thoughts on what would your husband do if you didn’t come back. Would he know where to look for you? How would he raise the children without you? How can you prevent him from remarrying once you’re gone? Step on roadkill and…you’re back to reality.

5. Decide that now is a good time to offer up your run for the Holy Souls and commit to saying a rosary as the voice on the ap reminds you to start running…again, even though you’re darn sure it hasn’t been a full two minutes of walking. Say 18 Hail Marys for your first decade, since you keep losing your spot.

6. Try to avoid the lawn sprinkler. Take a hit to the face and groin anyway. Think about all the jokes the kids are going to make when they see you. Straighten up and fix that form when another jogger comes into view. Don’t glance at your groin! Aaaagh! Hope that they are too busy with their “runners high” to notice you. Resolve to Google ‘runners high’ so you can learn where to purchase the drug that supposedly will make this all intoxicating. Mmmmm… intoxication.

7. When you get home DO NOT collapse on the couch with a glass of water and a mug of coffee. Jump right into the shower so your husband is able to kiss you goodbye without holding his nose.Why are you still on the couch??? Do you want to spend all morning in your sweaty clothes??

Commit to showering before 10:34 a.m. tomorrow.

I’m sure there’s some other crucial information I’m missing so, be sure to pick up a back issue of Runner’s World in the waiting room of your doctor’s office if you want advice on stuff like, sneakers, nutrition, exercises and I don’t know what else because I don’t read magazines about things I dislike. I’ll be back at Jen’s reading the rest of the QT links and “carbo-loading” with a brownie sundae. That’s something you can do on a daily basis for the week leading up to a race right?

Just let me believe what I want!


  1. This is oddly motivational even for a sworn enemy of running…

    & lol to #5. That’s me anyway every decade–minus the running 😉

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