{SQT}A Van, A Hutch And A Husband’s Soothing Text

Bringing up the rear of Jen’s Quick Takes this week because 1.) reverse order link-ups are so May 2013 and 2.) I was busy watching a stretching DVD last night. (If the results prove as miraculous as I hope, I’ll let you know. And don’t worry, it doesn’t involve me in spandex.) Now off to the races!

1. We’re getting the handicap van we saw last weekend. Tony and I feel it’s the most bang for our buck and the kids can’t believe we’ll finally own a vehicle with a DVD player. Never mind the low mileage, high-end undermount lift, raised roof and fold down bench seat: all these kids care about is the ability to watch their own movies on the go instead of yelling at me to slow down so they can longingly peer into other people vehicles and guess what other children are watching.

2. I tried a new hard cider this weekend: “Strongbow, England’s Dry Cider.” I was all excited because i assumed such a masculine sounding cider would make me buff and crazy enough to rob rich travelers. Unfortunately, the flavor resembles fizzy Mott’s apple juice in the worst way. A more appropriate name would be “Daintybow, England’s Dry Cider For Nancy Boys”.

3. After obstacle course fever raced through our house, I was excited to see a kids’ obstacle course run in my favorite place, Ocean City, NJ. Of course I took it as a sign from God and signed my kids up while they were sleeping. Thankfully, they all did well and are excited to try more obstacle course runs. But seeing as it’s been in the 90s here with high humidity, the only running we’re currently doing is through the sprinkler. I am hoping to set our pool up this week (we ordered some replacement parts after Sandy unleashed her furry on our algae breeding ground). I’m mostly convinced that a water obstacle will prevent everyone from dying during practice.

4. Over dinner last weekend, I casually mentioned to my friends about our fruitless search for a cheap dining hutch that wasn’t over priced or hideous. “Oh, we’re going to get rid of ours; do you want it?”, my absolute bestest friend in the whole wide world replied. And i was all “You mean that huge hutch with tons of storage that would look great with our furniture that I’ve admired a ton of times in your house??? HELLS YEAH!!!” Actually, I’m pretty sure I just calmly said, “Hells yes, if you’re sure. Why thank you. How positively fortuitous.”

I love it…sort of passionately. “No dining hutch, we’ll keep this between you and me. Tony doesn’t need to know.”

5. I don’t normally write about poop, so if you’re not a poop fan, move along.

If you’re still here I can tell you how Teddy had this absolute explosion the other morning. Like one minute he’s playing on the couch and the next I look over and he’s got this deer in headlights stare and the front of his once white onsie is brown. I pick him up and I realize he’s taken out two sofa cushions, I immediately call in for reinforcements and Addie helps bring supplies while Byron rolls over on the couch in a fetal position and basically ignores the entire crisis. I guess I understand, since his father still pulls his t-shirt up over his nose to change diapers. I’m pretty sure Tony can recall with stunning accuracy every major blowout he’s changed as it’s so traumatic for him.

I don’t know what the moral is here except that even after five kids, my husband has a problem with poop and now, I’m beginning to wonder if it’s hereditary.

6. Tony and Byron are camping out this weekend so I’ve been flying solo. I’m totally not freaking out about the absurdly large moths banging into the windows or the squirrels (that I know have moved back into the attic) making their way into my bed tonight. Really, it’s okay; I’m building up my courage with Daintybow and Addie said I could climb in bed with her if I get scared.

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For a lady’s beverage such as this, I make sure to drink it all classy like, with my pinkie real high. I’m feeling more confident in my ability to tackle zombies with every sip.

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Thanks for the reassurance. Don’t be surprised if when you come home me and the dining hutch are gone.

7.  I feel like for things being so crazy, I should have more exciting stuff to tell y’all about. Maybe I could share how, ohmyworditsjunealready and looking at the calendar we have something every weekend until the middle of August. So don’t worry! I should have plenty of posts related to travel, parties, never being able to successfully wrap up the school year, sweating profusely, and injuring myself through poor decision-making. Bring it summer!

If your social calendar is not already packed to the gills, be sure to schedule some time to visit Jen and the rest of the Heads Up Seven Up Takes. 



  1. Love love love the hutch!!! LOL about the diaper situation. My husband still breathes through his mouth when he changes (even just wet) diapers! Enjoy your new van, so exciting!

  2. Ugh Strongbow is so worthless… Magner’s, too – they make them seem all manly so you think they’ll have full-bodied flavor, but when I’d rather just drink sparkling apple cider, you KNOW there’s something wrong!

  3. Strongbow’s not great – at least you didn’t end up with White Lightning – that’s absolute piss! For decent British cider, try Bulmers or Magners – they’re both alright. Apparently Carling now do cider, too…

    (if it has to be mass-produced factory stuff, anyways)

  4. Hahahahahahahahahahaha *snort* hahahahaha. Yeah. Still laughing at the Daintybow: England’s Dry Cider for Nancy Boys. I’m jealous of your hutch. It’s gorgeous!

  5. I was cracking up at your story of the kids asking you to slow down so that they could see into other people’s vans….that’s not an exaggeration, I’m assuming, because I can totally relate – we went for the LONGEST time without van video privileges and my children considered it borderline abusive to ask them to get into the car. Love the hutch!!

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