Sweaty Summer Hand-Wringing Broken Into Seven Quick Takes

I don’t even know if these really qualify as seven quick takes since they’re all related. Can Jen disqualify people for not keeping things distinct and succinct?  If she asks, let’s all pretend I’m following protocol mmmmmkay? Because it’s really too hot here for me to work any harder than I have.

1. While most kids have left behind thoughts of books and homework, homeschooling moms are now sweating out thoughts of planning next years lesson plans. Glossy catalogues are arriving, two-day homeschooling conferences are in full swing. You ask your child to divide his brother’s sandwich into quarters and he gives you a glassy-eyed stare, they’re already forgetting everything you’ve taught them, and it’s only June! Maybe it was last years curriculum, maybe you need to switch it all up. Before you know it, you’re sitting pool, lake or beachside with an iced coffee, no less than three curriculum catalogues, two legal pads and a husband so desperate for your undivided attention he’s taking off his t-shirt and exposing his bright white chest to the world.

2. In what I considered to be a stroke of genius, I made the decision from the get go to school year round; three months on, one month off. The children would never suffer from the summer brain drain, I’d get December off for Christmas prep and a whole month for spring break in April. Why isn’t everyone on board with this?

3. Because when it’s hot as the Mohave, no one wants to do school. I go to pick my arm up from the lesson plans and they’re sticking. I can only motivate the kids to do their work in a timely manner by bribing them with Fudgesicles. Now there’s brown finger prints everywhere. Ignore every indication they’re not just from the Fudgesicles by eating more Fudgesicles.

4. An old house with central air is as cool and inviting as having a fat man sit on your lap and fan you with the folds of meaty flesh on his arm. Or maybe it just feels that way to me since I’m always got a child or four clinging to my sweaty body.

5. It takes a long time to fill a pool with water when your husband demands giving the well pump a break after an hour. Yes, I know it’s old and could give out at any minute but I don’t think I can keep the kids from jumping in our 3/8 filled pool and breaking their legs for much longer.

6. I’m trying to use up food from our freezer and pass it off to the kids undefrosted as a cool dinner alternative.

7. So while I’m trying to wrap up this school year and not dehydrate, I’m freaking out about next year’s school work as are many of my friends. We’re as helpful to one another a flock of cackling hens before the slaughter. “What are you using for spelling? Aaackkk, spelling, who said spelling?? I forgot about spelling? Aaackkk! I was all concerned about grammar! Aaaacckkk! Grammar, who said grammar! Aaaccckkk! I forgot about grammar! And what about transcripts?? Aaacck!”  waddle, waddle, waddle

At the local homeschool conference, moms are bombarded with a dizzying array of curriculum choices. Most are lucky to emerge at day’s end without their heads exploding.

So if you’re off to a conference this weekend, keep your wits about you! Keep calm and enjoy the central air and whatever you do, don’t buy the first glossy book you see. Or you could avoid planning a bit longer by heading over to Conversion Diary for more Seven Quick Takes.



  1. #4– I have the same problem with my house. One of these days I may have enough money to insulate it properly and not have to set the AC to 80+ in order to save some money.

  2. We also school pretty much year round. We don’t do hard breaks for 1 month, but we do a VERY light December, and a very light June. And we are only do about 3 subjects in the summer (piano, math, reading). We take several weeks off throughout the year for vacation and family.

    My kids pretty much do math year round, even if it is just an easy light reinforcement workbook during the summer months. Taking an entire summer off is crazy, we would have major retention issues around here! A worksheet a day keeps the crazies away 😉

  3. @Contra We’re trying to insulate as we go. Our new kitchen will be great at staying cool in the summer and warm in the winter, where as the old kitchen has no vents and thusly is never the right temperature whatever time of year it is. Oh the charm of old houses!
    @ Kellie The kids and I really each need a full month off, if only for me to have time to write up lesson plans for the coming trimester. I pick out the materials for the whole year by August, but I don’t write a full year’s lessons at once. In December and April I reevaluate what we’re doing, make adjustments as necessary and then write out assignments for the next 12 weeks.
    I think the other good thing about a more year round approach is it keeps the kids on some type of schedule for more of the year.

  4. Oh for goodness sake! Why did I read this at half past midnight when I’m about to go to bed?? I’ll never be able to sleep now between laughing hysterically at the thought of the fat man fanning you with his fat flaps and utter horror at the same thought!! Where do you come up with them?? Sending you some coolness from chilly rainy (but still beautiful) Ireland. We even lot the fire yesterday tonwarm ourselves up :-/

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