Third Person Thursday


Uncategorized / Thursday, November 7th, 2013

In honor of NaNoWriMo I present ‘Third Person Thursday’. Just something different to help me in my fiction writing journey. If you’re so inclined, join me. I’d love to read about your morning/afternoon/ trip to Target in the third person. Leave a link in the comments. 

Kelly stared into her coffee. For a moment, she was reminded of that bathroom scene in ‘Trainspotting’ with Ewan McGregor. She imagined herself diving into her mug, swimming around and getting lost for a couple of hours. She sighed, drank deeply and headed in the direction of the boys bedroom to answer the early morning screams of her youngest.

She shuffled into his dark room, scooped him up and hoped his cries did not wake his brother. The slow in and out breathes from the bi-pap indicated Fulton was still out cold. She placed Teddy on the couch and retraced her steps to locate where she had placed her coffee cup in the last sixty seconds.

“I need juice!” Teddy wailed from his corner on the sectional and tossed himself over, apparently in death throes brought on by a lack of Motts. Kelly retrieved his cup from the corner of his bed, pleaded with Teddy to please be quiet and discarded the remaining plastic scented water in the kitchen sink before refilling with his morning beverage of choice.

Now, her coffee. Was it on the bookshelf? Ah, yes. She wrapped her hand around it and smiled at its warmth in her hand.

“I’m awake!” Fulton called from the bedroom.

Kelly dropped her head backwards, closed her eyes, uttered a quiet plea to God and left the coffee to retrieve Fulton. She disconnected him from his various machines in the dark, carried him to the living room and placed him carefully on the tumbling mat.

Ignoring the sound of footsteps on the steps, Kelly quickly grabbed her mug and drank deeply. Finally. She settled onto the couch, instinctively nodding and smiling as Byron and Addie stumbled over each others words to recount their dreams to her. She was lost in the flavor of International Delights Salted Carmel Mocha creamer when a sippy cup landed sharply on her foot.

“Ow! Dam—-, I mean, geez Teddy, what the heck?!” she muttered while rubbing the injury.

“I need more juice.”

“Let mama sit a bit and drink her coffee and then I’ll get you some more, okay?”

“NO!” and he threw himself over and started inching his way to the edge of the sofa. “I gonna fall!”

Kelly considered letting him fall for a second before grabbing him and placing him on the floor. He immediately started scooting over to Fulton, much to Fulton’s dismay.

“No Teddy! Stay away!” Fulton called. “Mama!”

“I punch you!” Teddy laughed. Fulton screamed for backup which arrived in the form of Addie caressing and holding him. This angered him more and Kelly decided now would be a good time to lock herself in the bathroom with her iPod and catch up on Feedly. She slowly made her way to the bathroom, hoping no one would notice. But instantly, they were on her like a pack of wild dogs.

“What’s for breakfast? Are we going anywhere today? Will Nonna be over? I’m hungry! We’re out of good cereal! Can I play on your iPod?” Kelly couldn’t even distinguish who was asking what question. She looked at the clock; 7:06. Only fourteen more hours to go. She slugged back the rest of her coffee, changed course and meandered her way to the kitchen, the leader of a family parade. She was resigned to her fate, and ready to submit for the day. With God’s grace and pure willpower she summoned a smile.

“Okay kids, what can I get you?”
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12 Replies to “Third Person Thursday”

    1. Kelly felt joyful, yet distressed by Jo’s comment. How could she break it to Jo that she’d better learn to wait a long long time because this novel, this painful, painful novel, was probably never going to get finished. At least not until the children moved out and Kelly learned to stay off Facebook. It was a grim truth even she hated to admit.

    1. Unfortunately, now Ewan McGregor would always be remembered as Obi Wan Kenobi in the Mantoan household, for better or worse. Kelly knew if anyone understood this, it would be Cari.

  1. Love. I want to do this. I need to make time to do this. Also, it reminds me of an article I read once called The Heroic Minute of the Day. I think your heroic minute was when you resigned to your fate and submitted for the day. I fight that so hard.

  2. That’s one of the trickiest things to learn as a mom: how to REALLY let go of your agenda. And writing about it in the third person makes it a more powerful statement for the readers (why? I dunno). You’re definitely onto something here…and you’ve got a gripping story to tell.

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