Twas the night before… My Sick Ode to Clement Moore

Twas the night before Monday, when all through my roost, all creatures stopped stirring once punishments were introduced.

The laundry still hung on the clothesline with care, forgotten by Mama who’d been summoned elsewhere.

The children were nestled all snug in their beds, the fun of the weekend still fresh in their heads.

And Papa in his boxers, and I in my sweats,  had just settled down,  blind to stomach upsets.

When across the baby monitor, there arose such a clatter, I sat straight up, my husband exclaimed “What the @*&%# is the ¬†matter?!”

Away to the girls bedroom, I ran like a flash,  found an old trashcan , delivered  bedside with a crash.

Moonlight through the window enveloped the room,  suggesting serenity  and not impending doom.

When what to my wondering eyes should appear, but a trail of  puke flying straight through the air.

My littlest daughter, by day –¬†lively and quick, had¬†succumb¬†to infection and wound up quite sick.

More rapid than eagles her expulsions came. I tried to give directions but she missed the can all the same.

On blankets, on pillows , on dolly and teddy. My sweat-shirt, her nightgown,  it persisted,  fast and steady .

From the top of the bed, to the top of the wall?!,  how to wash away, wash away, wash away it all?

As dry heaves took over, my husband walked in with a sigh. She soon finished vomiting and began to cry.

Off to the bathroom, we walked smelling sour, my husband grabbed paper towels  and began to scour.

And then in a twinkling, I suspected more to come, when after a cry from the boy’s room, my husband took off in a run.

As I threw back my head, an expletive muttered, a long night we were in for, the week’s plans now shattered.

Redressed in clean PJ’s and laid back in her bed, I thought of helping my husband, but ducked under my covers instead.

“He made it to the toilet” was all he expressed, before snuggling beside me and trying to get fresh.

“Go away!”, I recoiled, “Fat chance in hell ! Who knows when they’ll be up again! There’s no way to tell!”

With a shrug of his shoulders, he pulled sheets round his head, and soon gave me to know, I had nothing to dread.

I awoke to a child standing quietly bedside, with a pail in his hand, his needs plainly implied.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work and filled up the pail, then zonked out with a jerk.

And laying his finger up inside his nose, I tried cleaning his face with my stained bedtime clothes.

Many hours later, this cycle twice repeated, I hoped finally our  jobs as nursemaids was completed.

A virus so merciless, had made me it’s slave. The sleep that we needed would remain elusive ’til ¬†the grave.

Too soon I make out the sun through eyes tired and bleary, as my husband exclaimed “There’s no rest for the weary.”




  1. OMG this has to be the funniest blog on the entire Internet!! I am sharing this on Facebook tomorrow if that’s all right! I could relate to every line, particularly the being puked on episode, many’s the time I have had children walk past toilets, baths, buckets and hold on till they reached my bedside only to let loose all over ME!!
    Jen x

    1. Thank you Jen; share away! I would love to connect with more people who can relate to being puked on. Maybe we can create a support group for one another?

      1. That’d be funny!! My husband got a smile out of your hubby…I think they sound like they could set up their own support group. I’ve recommended your blog over at mine. (on my 7 Quick Takes post)
        Jen x

        1. Thanks! I shared your SQT on Facebook. My husband read this post and disagreed with my portrayal of him. I believe he thought I made him look mean and uncaring. I said, “Honey, I wrote that you got up and scoured with paper towels. If I wrote that you stayed in bed, then people would think you were mean and uncaring. Based on this, people think you’re helpful and frisky.”

          1. I think he sounds endearing…I wouldn’t say he sounds bad at all!! Especially if anyone read the post about him buying you some lovely flowers..that was so funny!

  2. Mean and uncaring!?!?!?! He helped clean up the vomit!!!! That’s some serious servant spirit/kindness/something goin’ on!!!

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