I thought the Easter aftermath couldn’t get much worse than two sprained ankles in a single day followed by a sick baby. But unfortunately, because I even let that thought cross my mind, fate laid the smack down on me by allowing a virus to infiltrate my kids. Despite telling myself, and my husband, repeatedly that the baby’s puking, diarrhea, crankiness and incessant head spinning was due to “teething” or “demonic possession” we both knew he was sick. And no sooner were his diapers less explosive, than the oldest two fell victim. It’s been non-stop naked Barbies and baby doll tea parties around here now that #1 and #2 are too weak to resist #3. By all accounts, the outlook is grim.
And so, seven random thoughts on illness and our family.
1. When you have a family with more than one child, you know as soon as one child is sick, the rest will fall like dominos. The fate of your husband and yourself is equally perilous. There’s nothing you can do because despite your best efforts they will cough on each other for fun, give you big sloppy kisses without thinking and fall asleep in your bed for a nap while drooling and snotting up your pillow. And it’s not like they’re going to start washing their hands on a regular basis now.
2. Children’s medicine comes in several flavors, but children come in only two; flavored medicine lovers or haters. I’ve got one child who loves the bubblegum pain reliever like it’s crack. If his first dose is at 7:48 a.m., he is at my side clamoring for a hit of drugs at 1:47 p.m., bottle in hand with the clack, clack, clack of the child-proof lid muffled in his hands. I guess I should just be glad I found a way to improve his ability to tell time.
3 .Why does their late night hacking cough wake me up, but not them??
4. A house full of sick kids is great for the grocery budget.
5. My oldest takes a fresh tissue every time she wants to dab at her precious schonze. This results in a massive tissue mound next to her wherever she’s resting. (It’s a huge germ breeding ground! I look and I can see the germs getting all freaky and multiplying right there!) I’m ready to go back to the system I had when they were younger. I called it the “snotty rag” system. It consisted of an old cloth diaper stuck on the top of the toilet tank in the kids bathroom. When ever a cold ran through the house, I grabbed the snotty rag, found a clean corner and wiped noses. When it was green or too stiff to use, I washed it and put a fresh rag on the toilet. At the time, that seemed more sanitary to me than multiple piles of half used tissues throughout the house. The only downside was when family came to visit and needed a tissue. Once I had to buy tissues for the guests, the snotty rag fell out of favor.
6. My kids will stop exhibiting symptoms just long enough for me to assume they are healthy and make plans. But usually after arriving at a friend’s house someone will complicate said plans by projectile vomiting.
7. Having just read the Velveteen Rabbit to the kids, my husband is convinced the next course of action is to start burning toys and bedding.
I hate to wonder what the next week has in store for us. We do love bonfires. How do you manage with a house of sick kids?